For as little as $1.29 you can have stink in a bag!!

Apparently in Arkansas they believe in buying cow manure in a bag. I didn't know that was even possible. I literally saw this and thought it was so funny (and impossible) that I had to take a picture of it. I spent most of my childhood running through fields trying to avoid the stuff and being desensitized to the smell because it was a regular part of my day. We were constantly wiping it OFF our shoes, not picking it up and selling it. Had we known there was a market for that maybe....nah, never mind that's disgusting, I'm just kidding. I can't believe people actually pay real money for that stuff. Gross and dumb if you ask me. But it IS Arkansas. haha I'm going to get in trouble with the Boy for that comment. :) Unbelievable.

Bad traffic? I'll take it.

Last week was my spring break from school, so naturally I wanted to fly somewhere. Bad idea. Apparently, I am not meant to fly anymore. If you don't recall my last experience flying, then read this blog from January. Well, needless to say they lost my luggage AGAIN. That's 3 times in a row. What are the chances?! I was so frustrated I was nearly in tears. The Boy, who was with me, was really good to me though. I learned the valuable lesson to never leave anything in your luggage that you can't part with. Seriously.

Anyways, I just had the weirdest dream. I was in this room of luggage and clothes were strewn everywhere (including my underwear, niiiiccceee). There were people all over the place, my family was all there, and the Boy too. I had my suitcase and then someone moved it and I couldn't find it. I was searching everywhere for it, under all of the clothes, all of the other suitcases, between all of the people (while grabbing my underwear)....yeah, I woke up before I could find it in an utter panic. Stress. Ugh. What a nightmare.

Oh, and on the flight back I was once again sick, like Christmas, our plane was delayed, like Christmas, and something happened to ATC (Air Traffic Control) like someone cut a cable or took out a pole or something weird like that and no flights were going out so we sat on the tarmac for an hour and 45 minutes before we took off, like Christmas. I was having flashbacks. You have no idea. At least this time I had someone with me. It made it bearable and we made our connection fine. I told myself if I didn't get my bags for the 4th time, I wasn't flying again. Luckily they arrived when I did. I'm just not sure I'm meant to fly. Seriously. I'm having nightmares about losing luggage now. I'm stressed about situations that aren't even real. I like cars. Cars are good. I'm going to stick to cars for a while.

Too bad I'm from Colorado.

Single's Awareness Day

Cupid died. Sorry (not). There's no Valentine's day this year.

P.S. My dislike of this holiday has nothing to do with whether I'm single or not, just for the record. I dislike it even when I have a boyfriend.

P.P.S. The use of so much pink might have something to do with it....and the fact that it makes me gag. Too sappy. Yuck.

P.P.P.S. There might be a few other reasons too. But, as you can see it doesn't matter, cuz he's dead. Dead. Dead. Dead.

THE END

Dream dream dream dream

So I had this dream last night....in animation. Like cartoons. Not like new PIXAR cartoons, but the old school stuff from when I was a kid watching on Saturday mornings. I didn't know this was even possible, to dream in animation. It was bizarre, but funny. All I remember really is that it was like middle ages times with castles and armies and battles (we were assembling an army for a battle apparently) and strange creatures made up our army (they reminded me of they creatures off of Lord of the Rings or Narnia). I was there watching it, like 3rd person, but I think I was actually a cartoon character too. Oh wow. Lol. Cartoons. Classic. I've apparently regressed to childhood due to the stress in my life and am now dealing with it by dreaming that I'm a cartoon in cartoon world. Lovely.

I've been having nightmares a lot lately, which is an unpleasant experience to say the least. Last week though, between the nightmares I had a very funny and kinda gross dream. I dreamed I was brushing my teeth. Nothing unusual there I guess. Clean teeth are a good thing. However, I woke up when I realized that I was drooling in my pillow as I was "spitting" out the toothpaste in the dream. hahaha, gross. I immediately woke up the minute I realized my pillow was getting wet. Yeah, I washed my sheets. Gross. But funny.

Everybody's on the Food Chain

Last weekend I FINALLY got to go see OneRepublic in concert in Philly with the Boy, after months of missing their concerts. I've loved this band since May or June, long before anyone had ever heard of them (See OneRepublic "Apologize" from June and 1R from October). Amazingly, they can really sing (and play). It was a good concert. One of their opening bands was a guy call Eric Hutchinson. At first I was kind of skeptical of him when I heard his music on Myspace, but he's actually pretty good. He's kind of funky. I like it. But if the guy doesn't make it as a musician he could definitely make it as a stand up comedian. He was a great entertainer and very funny. He did this same thing about Justin Timberlake (who I hate) at our concert, but it was much better actually.
He also sang a song called "Food Chain." About how we're all on the food chain and no matter how hard we try we can't improve our status. He said there are 4 types of guys in this world and this is a direct quote: "Ugly, Ok, Hot, and Really Hot but total Asshole." haha Yep, that's true.

Don't worry, I already downloaded his CD. I think I like this kid. He's got his facts straight. Look at the lyrics for some of his songs if you don't believe me. Smart, smart man.

My Superwoman Complex

On my first day of Kindergarten (age 5) I walked in and met the two girls that would become my best friends for the next six years of elementary school. We'll call them Superwoman and Reen. (Superwoman, another best friend, me, another best friend, and Reen- age 8...complete with whipped cream) Superwoman (actually we still call each other this on occasion) and I stayed best friends all the way through high school and are still really close today.

(me and Superwoman- yes I did actually have a Superwoman sign on my graduation cap, haha)

(Superwoman, me, and Reen at our High School Graduation Party) She's one of those friends that no matter how much time has gone by when we get together nothing has changed. Anyways, as kids sometimes we played dress up. I know for me that's really girly, but don't worry that was mixed between our times of playing outside. Reen could also go by "horse enthusiast." So we spent a lot of our time playing (or rather working) with her horses in the dirt (of course), if that makes you feel any better about the girliness. Anyways, when we played dress up we used to run around the house in Superwoman underwear. I guess they made us feel powerful or something. haha Yep, those are great memories. But, I'm thinking that may be where my Superwoman Complex started...

I have these phases in my life where I decide that I must be Superwoman. I know I'm studying Multiple Personality Disorder (actually it's called Dissociative Identity Disorder now), but I think this is taking it a little far. I think I can take on the world. Yeah, unfortunately I am quickly reminded that I am not a superhero and I am only human. Booooo. Last week I spent 3 or 4 days under so much stress I was actually physically shaking. I looked like I had Parkinson's tremors (yes, everything is a medical analogy for me, you'll get used to it). Something major was going on with every member of my immediate family and unfortunately I live in Virginia which is approximately between 1700 and 2400 miles from my different family members. Entirely too far away for me to do much of anything. I have this problem with wanting to take on everyone's problems and take away their pain. Not that this is a bad thing, but unfortunately I've found you can't really solve anyone else's problems and you can't take away their pain. You can be a support (which is hard from this far away) and love them, but you can't things away. Yeah, I'm not a superhero and I am not God. He is the only one who can really do this for us all. Anyways, you add all of this stress plus enough homework to last me into the next century (at least that's what it feels like) and other stresses which I won't get into here...but it turned me into a complete disaster. I wasn't sleeping and when I slept I had nightmares. Plus I was still sick (yeah, for the last month). Unfortunately my family and my best friend got the brunt of this hyperventilating, sick, basket case. Poor things. Bless them for sticking by me. Then it occurred to me that I was trying to be Superwoman again. This has happened many times before (you'd think I'd learn). So I finally had to admit that I can't do it all, I can't fix everyone else's problems single-handedly and I'm not Superwoman. Damn. Hmm...maybe I just need a side-kick. Nope. No. No. Jennie, you're still not Superwoman. Back to reality...until I try to be Superwoman again. "Up in the sky, look! It's a bird! It's a plane! It's....[Yeah, it ain't me, so keep looking]!"

The best cure for self pity

So I got up at 5am after a pretty rough night, spent all day at clinicals at a Psychiatric Hospital, and then came home exhausted and I wanted to just sit here and whine about my life falling apart, but I have to say I've been humbled today. I won't go into details of why because it is too difficult to explain. But, I will say that today made me very grateful for my relatively simple problems. I do not have to deal constantly with delusions, hallucinations, paranoia, psychosis, etc. Thankfully, that is not part of my reality. But it is part of many people's lives and I am learning to really appreciate how difficult life must be for them. I will continue to strive to develop empathy for those people who are not as fortunate as I am to have a relatively blessed life. But, I am humbled and so I decided that my best solution is to list all the things that I am grateful for today. Here goes...I am grateful....
That I only got semi-lost in Seven Corners today (and GPS units)
That I didn't lose my brother last week
That I have a brand new beautiful nephew and that my sister-in-law is doing well
That even though I'm horribly homesick that means that I have more than one place I can call home
Eternal Families- I can't think of anyone else on earth that I would rather spend eternity with than my family
Good Music
True friends who stick with me even through the worst of times
Friends who text you just to tell you that they're thinking about you and love you (thanks for that!)
Modern technology that allows me to stay in touch with my family and friends no matter where they are
That it's not snowing
That I can be in school to do what I've wanted to do since I was 17 and that I'm just as passionate about my career as I was back then. I still love what I do.
An incredibly compassionate Bishop. He is a great man.
My Testimony of the Gospel, the Scriptures, and the Prophets (past and present)
Last, but definitely not least, President Hinckley. I am grateful for the life he led. The example he was. His sense of humor. His love for the Lord, Gospel, and for all people. I never had the priviledge of meeting this incredible man and yet I mourn his death as if he was a good friend. I remember every time I had the opportunity to be in the same room as the Prophet though. It is impossible to explain the Spirit that that man radiated whenever he walked into a room. You could physically feel the change as soon as he entered. I was moved to tears every time I watched and felt this happen. I cherish every one of those experiences. I knew he loved me every time I heard him speak and I knew the Lord loved me. I thank my Heavenly Father for sending us that wonderful man to guide His church for a time. I am thankful for President Monson who is an amazing man as well. I am grateful for modern day revelation. There is not much I can say that my friends have not already all touched on in their tributes to President Hinckley but I will miss this man. He taught me to:
1. Be grateful.
2. Be smart.
3. Be clean.
4. Be true.
5. Be humble.
6. Be prayerful.
Relatively simple, but profound instructions that have guided me over the past almost 8 years since this talk was given. The day after his passing I was emailed this video from BYU. I thought it was a nice remembrance of him. I second that, "thank you President Hinckley for our journey together." While he will be missed I do not begrudge him the opportunity to be reunited with his sweet wife. In his book, "Stand A Little Taller" the quote for today, February 4th is this, "Your best self: Keep faith with the best that is in you. Your own constant self-improvement will become as a polar star to those with whom you associate. They will remember longer what they saw in you than what they heard from you. Your attitude, your point of view can make such a tremendous difference."