Really?! I mean really?!

Fire alarm batteries always die in the middle of the night. Why is that? Every time they chirp the dogs bark. I have a migraine. A skunk sprayed and it smells like it's IN my house and it's driving Baxter crazy. Lily keeps peeing on my carpet even though I take her outside all the time. I hate being an adult. That is all. 

Opinions

Pretty sad tonight. Wish others' negative opinions affected me less. God's opinion is the only one that should matter (and my own). I wish I could get to the point where this was true. I have to be true to myself. I just wish others wouldn't criticize me and my opinions. I respect that you may not agree with me, but you don't need to drag me down. 

Dignity

This is subject I am extremely familiar with as an ICU nurse. Whether or not I agree with the method, I DO applaud this woman's attempt to die with dignity, not something nearly enough people get to decide on. I daily see people dragged through hell, pain, and suffering in their last days that is in no way dignified. I think it's incredibly brave of her to make her own choice and to share her story and to not care what anyone else thinks. Again, I'm not saying I agree with her choice, but I applaud her courage. Yes it is courageous! No I don't care what anyone else thinks about it. Nor does MY opinion of it matter. The right or wrongness of it is up to God, not me or you. What gives you the right to judge her?! One of my personal struggles recently has Ben with learning not to care what others think of me. Only God's and my own opinions matter. She's clearly learned this. Good for her!

http://www.wbir.com/story/news/nation/2014/10/07/brittany-maynard-death-with-dignity-newser/16851903/

Who am I?

I am the girl in the background; I am the girl in front
I am the one in the corner at the party; I am the girl dancing on the table
I am the quiet and shy one; I am the outgoing and fun one
I am the life of the party; I'm the one who stays at home
I am the one who wants to be invisible; I am the one who just wants to be noticed
I am the smart one; I am the one who knows nothing
I am the humble, peaceful one; I am the one searching
I am everyone; I am no one
I have everything; I have nothing
I am the spiritual girl; I am the irreverant one
I am a walking contradiction; I am ok with who I am
I am beautiful inside; I am not yet beautiful outside, but I am working on it...
I am trying to find myself;  I know who I am
I am surrounded by people; I am so alone

I am the loud one; I am the one who makes no sound

Cheers!

I feel like cancer patients should get a Dave Ramsey cheer when they find out they're cancer free. I'm cancer free!!! Occasionally my patients get better and I get really excited for them.

Realist.

One of my favorite articles, ever about ICU nursing. Definitely a subject I feel passionately about. There's a BIG difference between dying with dignity and giving up. I wish everyone would read this article and take it to heart. http://nypost.com/2012/12/09/diary-of-an-intensive-care-nurse/

Oi!! Snicker snicker

http://blog.petflow.com/i-cant-believe-how-funny-this-is-i-am-in-tears-make-sure-your-sound-is-turned-on/

Heart-breaker

Today is Valentine's Day and I learned (or rather refreshed my knowledge) on how to restart hearts. I had ACLS (Advanced Cardiac Life Support) renewal (CPR with drugs and airways). The irony is NOT lost on me. Besides, Cupid is dead. Still dead. Not saveable. No pulse. Asystole. Dead. 

Tug my heart strings

http://distractify.com/fun/animals-fun/10-commandments-for-dog-owners/

Love this article!!  Good reminder that unconditional love can go both ways! Tonight I will hug my puppy a little tighter, which he barely tolerates, but I don't care. :)

The jerk

My dog is a jerk. He expresses his displeasure at being left home alone in destructive ways. This is just his latest episode. 

He is the reason I don't own nice things. Punk. 

It's 8 am...

This dog does not believe in sleeping in for the human. Darn it. Good thing he's cute!

Go away

I don't know if these are gray hairs or blonde popping up on my head, but either way, I don't appreciate it. I'm not THAT old yet. I feel like I'm about 102, but I'm not quite over the hill yet. 

Letter to ICU patient's families

I shared this on FB today, but I LOVE this article. It's so true. We all have morbid senses of humor and laugh at inappropriate things because If we didn't laugh we'd cry and we couldn't function. http://www.savortheessenceoflife.com/2014/01/12/a-letter-to-the-family-of-my-icu-patient/

This is Baxter.

He is my puppy. My best friend. The love of my life. He is also the biggest reason I have made it through the last year, the worst of my life. I thank God everyday that he is letting me share this beautiful soul for the time being.

Thank you, insomnia...

...because I totally wanted to fold my laundry at 3am and listen to the ridiculous amount of sirens on the highway. Is it really necessary for everyone to use their siren at 3am? I guess it is. Well I sincerely hope everyone is ok, someone is clearly having a worse night than me.

I miss blogging and I think I am hilarious so maybe I'll start writing down my hilarious thoughts and experiences again. Guess it doesn't matter if anyone else reads this or thinks I'm funny. It's not for you, it's therapeutic for me. Right?! Oh wait, if I don't care what anyone else thinks, I shouldn't ask for opinions and say things like "right?!", well I'm not very good at following the rules all the time so I'll do whatever I please cause this is my blog. Maybe I'm just asking the universe for opinions. Maybe someday it'll answer.