Go away

I don't know if these are gray hairs or blonde popping up on my head, but either way, I don't appreciate it. I'm not THAT old yet. I feel like I'm about 102, but I'm not quite over the hill yet. 

Letter to ICU patient's families

I shared this on FB today, but I LOVE this article. It's so true. We all have morbid senses of humor and laugh at inappropriate things because If we didn't laugh we'd cry and we couldn't function. http://www.savortheessenceoflife.com/2014/01/12/a-letter-to-the-family-of-my-icu-patient/

Thank you, insomnia...

...because I totally wanted to fold my laundry at 3am and listen to the ridiculous amount of sirens on the highway. Is it really necessary for everyone to use their siren at 3am? I guess it is. Well I sincerely hope everyone is ok, someone is clearly having a worse night than me.

I miss blogging and I think I am hilarious so maybe I'll start writing down my hilarious thoughts and experiences again. Guess it doesn't matter if anyone else reads this or thinks I'm funny. It's not for you, it's therapeutic for me. Right?! Oh wait, if I don't care what anyone else thinks, I shouldn't ask for opinions and say things like "right?!", well I'm not very good at following the rules all the time so I'll do whatever I please cause this is my blog. Maybe I'm just asking the universe for opinions. Maybe someday it'll answer.

It's Official...

I'm a Registered Nurse!!!!! I graduated with my Bachelor's Degree in Nursing in December and I took my Nursing Licensure Exam (NCLEX), my "boards" in February and PASSED!!! It was possibly one of the worst experiences of my life. I think everyone who takes it comes out and feels like they failed it. It definitely was the hardest test I've ever taken. I NEVER want to do that again and luckily I don't have to. You can have as little as 75 questions or as many as 265 and when the computer decides you are either competent or incompetent the screen goes blank and you're done. It sucks because you're like "NO!!!...give me more questions, I can do better, I swear!!" Then you cry. Never again. But, I passed (with 75 luckily, I don't think my nerves could have handled anymore). So I am officially a RN, BSN. Woohoo!! I'm working on a cardiac unit for now. So far it's good. I feel like I'm back in school though. Except now I get paid. YAY. I have class, computer work at home which is incredibly intense because it's the Critical Care Fellowship that I am in and the computer program is for critical care nurses (much more info and more intense than school), and homework out of a huge notebook I have to read for my unit, plus all the requirements that I have to do on my unit....and learning how to be a new nurse. I'm a little overwhelmed. Ok, really overwhelmed. Who sleeps? Except now sleep is essential because going to work without sleep and having to think on your feet and remember everything you've learned plus analyze and make critical decisions is a BAD idea on no sleep. Good thing this ends soon (class part) and I still have the rest of my fellowship to figure out what I'm doing. haha My poor patients. It's a good place to start though. Eventually I want to be in Trauma and then maybe ICU though, but I'm not ready for that yet. So I'm happy with where I'm at right now. Gotta love the heart! I finally achieved my goal after 9 EXTREMELY LONG years. I'm finally a nurse!! YAY for me. :)

P.S. I saw Xena on another unit the other day. haha

Love Story

I will seek and find you. I shall take you to bed and have my way with you. I will make you ache, shake & sweat until you moan & groan. I will make you beg for mercy, beg for me to stop. I will exhaust you to the point that you will be relieved when I'm finished with you. And, when I am finished, you will be weak for days.

All my love, The Flu

Now get your mind out of the gutter and go get your flu shot!

Ahhahahahahahahahahaha...my nursing friend sent me this and I thought it was hilarious. Ok, maybe demented medical humor. But whatever.

Narcoleptics 'R Us!!

I fell asleep standing up today at clinicals. No, I'm not kidding. I was standing over a table reading a chart and I even did the whole head jerk thing, yeah it was awesome. So you can stop complaining about me not blogging. I don't even have time to sleep enough, much less blog (or see my fiance for that matter). I didn't even know it was possible to fall asleep standing up. I'm going to have so many bruises from pinching myself trying to stay awake for hours. Ugh. I'm so sick of writing papers. I'll stop complaining now. I'm off to edit a paper and study for a test. Peace out until I do have time for this.

P.S. The fact that I don't have time to write blogs also means I don't have time to read them, I haven't even opened Google Reader in probably 3 weeks, I think. Hang on....Yep, 116 unread blogs. Awesome. Sorry. Someday I'll catch up. Maybe.

Bad traffic? I'll take it.

Last week was my spring break from school, so naturally I wanted to fly somewhere. Bad idea. Apparently, I am not meant to fly anymore. If you don't recall my last experience flying, then read this blog from January. Well, needless to say they lost my luggage AGAIN. That's 3 times in a row. What are the chances?! I was so frustrated I was nearly in tears. The Boy, who was with me, was really good to me though. I learned the valuable lesson to never leave anything in your luggage that you can't part with. Seriously.

Anyways, I just had the weirdest dream. I was in this room of luggage and clothes were strewn everywhere (including my underwear, niiiiccceee). There were people all over the place, my family was all there, and the Boy too. I had my suitcase and then someone moved it and I couldn't find it. I was searching everywhere for it, under all of the clothes, all of the other suitcases, between all of the people (while grabbing my underwear)....yeah, I woke up before I could find it in an utter panic. Stress. Ugh. What a nightmare.

Oh, and on the flight back I was once again sick, like Christmas, our plane was delayed, like Christmas, and something happened to ATC (Air Traffic Control) like someone cut a cable or took out a pole or something weird like that and no flights were going out so we sat on the tarmac for an hour and 45 minutes before we took off, like Christmas. I was having flashbacks. You have no idea. At least this time I had someone with me. It made it bearable and we made our connection fine. I told myself if I didn't get my bags for the 4th time, I wasn't flying again. Luckily they arrived when I did. I'm just not sure I'm meant to fly. Seriously. I'm having nightmares about losing luggage now. I'm stressed about situations that aren't even real. I like cars. Cars are good. I'm going to stick to cars for a while.

Too bad I'm from Colorado.

Dream dream dream dream

So I had this dream last night....in animation. Like cartoons. Not like new PIXAR cartoons, but the old school stuff from when I was a kid watching on Saturday mornings. I didn't know this was even possible, to dream in animation. It was bizarre, but funny. All I remember really is that it was like middle ages times with castles and armies and battles (we were assembling an army for a battle apparently) and strange creatures made up our army (they reminded me of they creatures off of Lord of the Rings or Narnia). I was there watching it, like 3rd person, but I think I was actually a cartoon character too. Oh wow. Lol. Cartoons. Classic. I've apparently regressed to childhood due to the stress in my life and am now dealing with it by dreaming that I'm a cartoon in cartoon world. Lovely.

I've been having nightmares a lot lately, which is an unpleasant experience to say the least. Last week though, between the nightmares I had a very funny and kinda gross dream. I dreamed I was brushing my teeth. Nothing unusual there I guess. Clean teeth are a good thing. However, I woke up when I realized that I was drooling in my pillow as I was "spitting" out the toothpaste in the dream. hahaha, gross. I immediately woke up the minute I realized my pillow was getting wet. Yeah, I washed my sheets. Gross. But funny.

My Superwoman Complex

On my first day of Kindergarten (age 5) I walked in and met the two girls that would become my best friends for the next six years of elementary school. We'll call them Superwoman and Reen. (Superwoman, another best friend, me, another best friend, and Reen- age 8...complete with whipped cream) Superwoman (actually we still call each other this on occasion) and I stayed best friends all the way through high school and are still really close today.

(me and Superwoman- yes I did actually have a Superwoman sign on my graduation cap, haha)

(Superwoman, me, and Reen at our High School Graduation Party) She's one of those friends that no matter how much time has gone by when we get together nothing has changed. Anyways, as kids sometimes we played dress up. I know for me that's really girly, but don't worry that was mixed between our times of playing outside. Reen could also go by "horse enthusiast." So we spent a lot of our time playing (or rather working) with her horses in the dirt (of course), if that makes you feel any better about the girliness. Anyways, when we played dress up we used to run around the house in Superwoman underwear. I guess they made us feel powerful or something. haha Yep, those are great memories. But, I'm thinking that may be where my Superwoman Complex started...

I have these phases in my life where I decide that I must be Superwoman. I know I'm studying Multiple Personality Disorder (actually it's called Dissociative Identity Disorder now), but I think this is taking it a little far. I think I can take on the world. Yeah, unfortunately I am quickly reminded that I am not a superhero and I am only human. Booooo. Last week I spent 3 or 4 days under so much stress I was actually physically shaking. I looked like I had Parkinson's tremors (yes, everything is a medical analogy for me, you'll get used to it). Something major was going on with every member of my immediate family and unfortunately I live in Virginia which is approximately between 1700 and 2400 miles from my different family members. Entirely too far away for me to do much of anything. I have this problem with wanting to take on everyone's problems and take away their pain. Not that this is a bad thing, but unfortunately I've found you can't really solve anyone else's problems and you can't take away their pain. You can be a support (which is hard from this far away) and love them, but you can't things away. Yeah, I'm not a superhero and I am not God. He is the only one who can really do this for us all. Anyways, you add all of this stress plus enough homework to last me into the next century (at least that's what it feels like) and other stresses which I won't get into here...but it turned me into a complete disaster. I wasn't sleeping and when I slept I had nightmares. Plus I was still sick (yeah, for the last month). Unfortunately my family and my best friend got the brunt of this hyperventilating, sick, basket case. Poor things. Bless them for sticking by me. Then it occurred to me that I was trying to be Superwoman again. This has happened many times before (you'd think I'd learn). So I finally had to admit that I can't do it all, I can't fix everyone else's problems single-handedly and I'm not Superwoman. Damn. Hmm...maybe I just need a side-kick. Nope. No. No. Jennie, you're still not Superwoman. Back to reality...until I try to be Superwoman again. "Up in the sky, look! It's a bird! It's a plane! It's....[Yeah, it ain't me, so keep looking]!"

"Come Fly Our Friendly Skies"

(This is really long, sorry...it's more me de-stressing than anything. You don't really need to read it all. I won't be offended if you don't) :)
So after 3 weeks of vacation in Colorado and Utah I finally flew back to DC a couple of weeks ago. It was by far the WORST trip I've ever taken. Everything that could have gone wrong (minus crashing the plane) did.
This was the sequence of events that fateful day (I added that for dramatic effect :), you're welcome):

I had a really bad night because I was really sick coughing and I was on narcotics so I didn't get very much sleep...

I ran out of time getting ready so I didn't get breakfast (my favorite meal of the day), then we took my nephew to a friend's house before Kindergarten and I said goodbye to him.

My Sister-in-law drove me to the airport, but by the time we got there, both of my nieces were fast asleep so I didn't get a chance to even say goodbye to them. Booooo.

Salt Lake International Airport is not exactly a large airport and I usually don't have problems flying through there because it's small enough that checking in and security doesn't take very long (nothing like DC). That shouldn't have been any different this day right? WRONG! I waited a good eh, 45 minutes in line just to check in my baggage because there were families all over the place from Europe with skis and a freakin' ton of bags. Lovely. Good thing I got there early and my flight was already delayed.

Getting through the security line took another probably 20 minutes, the line was all the way out into the hallway. But of course, what should happen when my purse goes through the x-ray? TSA person: "Who's bag is this?" Me: "Mine" TSA person: "We need to run it again" Me: "That's fine" (what did they think I was going to say? No? Yeah right.) They run the purse again. Nada. Me trying to be cooperative: "Do you need to look through it?" TSA Peeps: "Yes." Me: "Go ahead." At this point they proceeded to rip apart my purse piece by piece, which is an ordeal in and of itself. Nada. TSA Peeps (who is obviously new and being coached by someone else next to him): "Can we run this through (the wallet, the purse without the stuff in it, etc.)?" Me (annoyed by this time, but acting very nice and calm and cooperative...and glad my flight is delayed since this is taking forever): "Of course, you do whatever you need to." They finally told me what they thought they saw, a pocketknife. Are you kidding me?! A pocketknife. In my purse. Yeah right. I don't have any clue what they thought they saw that looks like a pocketknife in my purse, but I'll tell you this much, I don't have a pocketknife in my purse. They finally let me go when they didn't find anything. Good grief.

So I get to my gate and my plane is delayed....like a while. So I get something to eat, oh and I get my seating arrangement since I didn't have an assigned seat on my ticket (nice one). But only after standing in another line for a good 30ish minutes. Then....*Ding* "Attention: flight 522 (or whatever it was) to Chicago O' Hare your flight has been delayed" AGAIN. Ok, so that's not exactly what they said, but close. Apparently the President of the United States was in Chicago so NO flights were going into or out of Chicago. I guess he's more important than we are. :) Well, a lot of people were already going to miss their flights out of Chicago and the more we got delayed (since they kept changing the time we were leaving) the more concerned I got about missing my flight.

Salt Lake to Chicago was ok. Then run to find my gate....phew, made my plane. But, I'm absolutely miserable by this time because I'm coughing and I'm on a narcotic and I'm feeling somewhat sick. So we get on the plane and we sit and we sit and we sit. The Captain finally gets on the intercom and proceeds to tell us that for some reason (we switched original planes or something) we have no crew and not only do we have no crew we don't have gasoline. Say what?! That definitely got my attention. I looked at the two men beside me and we were like, that's never a good sign. I was more than nauseous at this point and basically conked out against the window. We sat there forever though. We finally started taxiing and we taxied and taxied and taxied and then STOPPED. What? Why did we stop? Runways are for taking off. Not stopping in the middle of. Needless to say, Chicago is not know for its good weather. There was actually lightning and rain that was visible out the windows of the plane. Back on the intercom, "Sorry folks, no eastbound flights are taking off at this time." They did let us talk on our phones though. I was quite possibly the shade of green by this time and it was roasting on that plane. Their idea of a free movie to show everyone was Jane Austen's Book club or something like that. Uh, no. I didn't watch it. We sat on the tarmac for about 2 hours and 15 minutes. On the runway. We couldn't even re-route because, oops, we don't have enough fuel. At one point I saw the line of planes behind us. It was long. We finally got in the air for one of the bumpiest rides I've ever had (and I was already nauseous). I don't think I've ever come so close to having to use one of those barf bags before. I actually had my head between my knees for a long time. I could describe how sick I was in detail for you, but I won't. Narcotic + Motion sickness (which I get really badly) + bad turbulence + little food (airport food for that matter) + sinus infection + cough = recipe for disaster. It was pretty darn close. I have never been so glad to see the Washington Monument and the Kennedy Center!!

I felt horrible for my roommates, by this point, who were supposed to be picking me up because I knew they both had to get up early the next morning and it was getting later and later and I had a lot of luggage: a huge suitcase, a Massive duffel bag, my laptop bag, and my purse. I had some serious issues carrying all of those at once. Moving on....I made it without puking all over everyone and everything. I'm sure United appreciates that, as do the guys sitting next to me. But, now I have a headache headed toward a migraine. Who wouldn't? So I wait for my bags and duffel bag? Yes. Suitcase? No. They delivered it the next day (I didn't get it on the way there either) Booo....That officially made this the worst trip EVER. I'm NEVER EVER EVER flying through Chicago again. Not if I can avoid it at least. By the time my roommates showed up and I had filled out my missing baggage claim ticket I was nearly in tears. I was dry heaving when I got home and then the trip from HELL was over. The End.

"Good thing babies are breakable!!!"

OK so I haven't written in a long time I realize. These are the last few experiences from my classes last semester. I know it took me forever to write this even though I started forever ago. Sorry. I hope they're worth it now. :) Enjoy!

So Scatterbrained was on a whole nother (is that a word? eh, oh well, it is now) level one week. This is a direct quote from her while we were studying GI (gastrointestinal): "this is boring. Well it's really not boring, you can save someone's life with this stuff. But, I'm like dying for a guest speaker for GI." Um, did she really just say that her topic was boring? Wow. I guess it was true though, GI is pretty boring but we still have to learn it. I'm not sure a guest speaker would have helped us though. Scratch that...maybe that class would have made more sense from guest speakers. This is a demonstration of what she drew on the board almost daily with her notes. Yeah that's a box that's circled like 10 times with arrows coming off of it pointing to things all over the board. This was a daily occurrence. Too bad you can't read her handwriting. I think my all time favorite moment in that class was when she brought in two old casts from a broken arm and a broken leg and made one of my friends put the cast on to demonstrate something. EWWWWWWWWWW GROSS!!!! Who wants to put on someone else's old, dirty, smelly, nasty cast?! That gives me the willies!! Poor girl. Then Scatterbrained threw her leg up on the front table in our classroom and tried the leg cast on herself. I'm pretty sure I'm was trying to contain my laughter (and horror) on the back row by that time. Yuck!! Seriously. Oh well. She's a really nice lady and was a pretty good professor (minus the ditsy part) and I did fine in her class so whatever, moving on.

My last class period of Drama Queen's class period was rather uneventful, if I remember right, except she just HAD to get in one last jab about milk. Ugh. It started out with her going off on calcium. She told us to ask our patients: "Excuse me?! How much calcium do you take?" Then she told us that we should "take enough to supply our bones, but not too much." This has to do with kidney stones and how too much calcium (aka milk according to her) causes them, supposedly. She said that she "just had to bring it up." Well yes, we wouldn't have it any other way on our last class period than to have you vent one last time about milk. Then she succeeded in throwing in her anti-men clause as well. Kidney stones are incredibly painful (just so you know). But this was her little complaint about men. "Especially men, they act like they are in labor and I say 'No way!' They act like such babies." Hahaha, eh never mind it was funny when she said it. But your public service announcement for the day is that you "need to be really careful about how much milk you drink." Oh no, not again! I'm so freaking sick of hearing about milk. Not that I'm a big milk drinker, but I love cereal, therefore I have milk in my diet. Heaven forbid. However, this is NOT something I ever want to have (forgive the pic, don't worry, they're much grosser in person). But FYI, high calcium alone isn't a risk factor for kidney stones (despite what DQ's opinions may be) other factors are involved. Enough with the nursing stuff. She was also a very nice professor, as dramatic as she could be.

On to the title story of the blog. No, you didn't read that wrong. That is a direct quote from Monotone herself in one of my last class periods. Monotone said, "Good thing babies are breakable." I burst out laughing, I just couldn't contain it, it was too funny. But I was kind of loud and by this time everyone in the class was zoned out already. She looks at me and she's like, "what?!" I'm like "did you hear what you just said? [at which point she stares at me blankly, so I have to repeat it back to her] 'Good thing babies are breakable.'" I was having a hard time keeping a straight face (I think she was surprised to find that I was even listening to her at that point). Monotone then tried to correct herself by saying "one good thing about the babies is that they break easy. [I was still laughing, that sounded just as bad- so she tried to fix it again] Not that they break easy, but that they heal easy. It came out wrong." Well, obviously. I would hope that you're not glad that babies break easily. Too bad she didn't find this situation nearly as humorous as me and my friends did. It was worth it to go to class this day just to hear her say that. I still think it's funny. :D

There's this weird thing about winter here where everyone and everything gets really staticy (that's not a word either). (Yes, I'm going somewhere with this) After the whole breakable babies conversation I had a hard time (harder than usual) concentrating in that class. Both my friend and I were really staticy though and kept shocking each other. So we were discussing this (instead of the lecture- during the lecture)...the following is the disastrous (or funny, whichever way you want to look at it) result of sarcasm + the two of us + Monotone's class + funny moments in Monotone's class + no filter + lack of sleep + too much stress + end of semester= Me: "you just have a sparking personality. You want me to rub you? Oh wait...That sounded wrong...." :) Her: "I dig myself a hole. You jump in it and start covering yourself up." Unfortunately that's very true. Damn.

Moving on to the Postpartum Depression lecture (that was like 15 minutes later in the class)....this was my friend's response about how she's going to be when she has kids. "I'm gonna be like WTF?" [when they hand her the baby and she doesn't know what to do with it]. Me: "Your kids are going to need therapy before they get home [from the hospital]." Her: "I'm not going to lie to you. Maybe that's what their Dad is for." Lovely. Well if we haven't learned anything else this semester I think we have come to the conclusion....are you ready for it?! OK my final conclusion for this last semester is....We're not ready for kids yet. Love them to death, but yeah I'm so NOT ready for them. Nephews and nieces are great. At the end of the day, you get to give them back. I've lived with a nephew and niece and I just spent the Christmas vacation with my nephew and nieces. Yeah, I wouldn't trade them for anything, but boy am I glad I'm still single at this point in my life. There you go folks, that's the final blog for last semester. Sorry it took so long. I hope you're IQ didn't drop reading this. Alright, off to bed so I can start a whole new semester at 8am tomorrow morning. Bleh.

Triptan family...yeah you're trippin' you mean

Yes I know I'm posting twice in a day, but whatever. So I've been getting migraines like once or twice a week every week for the past 6 months, which is not very conducive to good studying in nursing school. Anyways, I went to the MD today because I'm on some pretty hard core medications and obviously they're not working as well as they should be. So guess what he told me? Apparently I need MUCH less stress in my life. Yeah, I nearly burst out laughing. hahahahaha How the heck am I supposed to pull that one off?! I'm sorry but I'm in nursing school, not exactly easy. VERY stressful. Add to that family, friends, finances, health, etc. Yeah right, less stress, no problem. HA. So now I need to find more ways to relieve stress in my life, lovely. OK, I'm going to start Jiu-Jitsu again, because beating the hell outta something sure beats anything else for stress relief. The MD said it was my choice if I chose to stay in my current accelerated second bachelor's nursing program, but obviously it's affecting my health and he didn't recommend it. Gee thanks, buddy. Maybe I'll just drop out. :-P
(Of course he just means slow down a bit) You mean I not Superwoman?! NO WAY!!!!!!