(This is really long, sorry...it's more me de-stressing than anything. You don't really need to read it all. I won't be offended if you don't) :)
So after 3 weeks of vacation in Colorado and Utah I finally flew back to DC a couple of weeks ago. It was by far the WORST trip I've ever taken. Everything that could have gone wrong (minus crashing the plane) did.
This was the sequence of events that fateful day (I added that for dramatic effect :), you're welcome):
I had a really bad night because I was really sick coughing and I was on narcotics so I didn't get very much sleep...
I ran out of time getting ready so I didn't get breakfast (my favorite meal of the day), then we took my nephew to a friend's house before Kindergarten and I said goodbye to him.
My Sister-in-law drove me to the airport, but by the time we got there, both of my nieces were fast asleep so I didn't get a chance to even say goodbye to them. Booooo.
Salt Lake International Airport is not exactly a large airport and I usually don't have problems flying through there because it's small enough that checking in and security doesn't take very long (nothing like DC). That shouldn't have been any different this day right? WRONG! I waited a good eh, 45 minutes in line just to check in my baggage because there were families all over the place from Europe with skis and a freakin' ton of bags. Lovely. Good thing I got there early and my flight was already delayed.
Getting through the security line took another probably 20 minutes, the line was all the way out into the hallway. But of course, what should happen when my purse goes through the x-ray? TSA person: "Who's bag is this?" Me: "Mine" TSA person: "We need to run it again" Me: "That's fine" (what did they think I was going to say? No? Yeah right.) They run the purse again. Nada. Me trying to be cooperative: "Do you need to look through it?" TSA Peeps: "Yes." Me: "Go ahead." At this point they proceeded to rip apart my purse piece by piece, which is an ordeal in and of itself. Nada. TSA Peeps (who is obviously new and being coached by someone else next to him): "Can we run this through (the wallet, the purse without the stuff in it, etc.)?" Me (annoyed by this time, but acting very nice and calm and cooperative...and glad my flight is delayed since this is taking forever): "Of course, you do whatever you need to." They finally told me what they thought they saw, a pocketknife. Are you kidding me?! A pocketknife. In my purse. Yeah right. I don't have any clue what they thought they saw that looks like a pocketknife in my purse, but I'll tell you this much, I don't have a pocketknife in my purse. They finally let me go when they didn't find anything. Good grief.
So I get to my gate and my plane is delayed....like a while. So I get something to eat, oh and I get my seating arrangement since I didn't have an assigned seat on my ticket (nice one). But only after standing in another line for a good 30ish minutes. Then....*Ding* "Attention: flight 522 (or whatever it was) to Chicago O' Hare your flight has been delayed" AGAIN. Ok, so that's not exactly what they said, but close. Apparently the President of the United States was in Chicago so NO flights were going into or out of Chicago. I guess he's more important than we are. :) Well, a lot of people were already going to miss their flights out of Chicago and the more we got delayed (since they kept changing the time we were leaving) the more concerned I got about missing my flight.
Salt Lake to Chicago was ok. Then run to find my gate....phew, made my plane. But, I'm absolutely miserable by this time because I'm coughing and I'm on a narcotic and I'm feeling somewhat sick. So we get on the plane and we sit and we sit and we sit. The Captain finally gets on the intercom and proceeds to tell us that for some reason (we switched original planes or something) we have no crew and not only do we have no crew we don't have gasoline. Say what?! That definitely got my attention. I looked at the two men beside me and we were like, that's never a good sign. I was more than nauseous at this point and basically conked out against the window. We sat there forever though. We finally started taxiing and we taxied and taxied and taxied and then STOPPED. What? Why did we stop? Runways are for taking off. Not stopping in the middle of. Needless to say, Chicago is not know for its good weather. There was actually lightning and rain that was visible out the windows of the plane. Back on the intercom, "Sorry folks, no eastbound flights are taking off at this time." They did let us talk on our phones though. I was quite possibly the shade of green by this time and it was roasting on that plane. Their idea of a free movie to show everyone was Jane Austen's Book club or something like that. Uh, no. I didn't watch it. We sat on the tarmac for about 2 hours and 15 minutes. On the runway. We couldn't even re-route because, oops, we don't have enough fuel. At one point I saw the line of planes behind us. It was long. We finally got in the air for one of the bumpiest rides I've ever had (and I was already nauseous). I don't think I've ever come so close to having to use one of those barf bags before. I actually had my head between my knees for a long time. I could describe how sick I was in detail for you, but I won't. Narcotic + Motion sickness (which I get really badly) + bad turbulence + little food (airport food for that matter) + sinus infection + cough = recipe for disaster. It was pretty darn close. I have never been so glad to see the Washington Monument and the Kennedy Center!!
I felt horrible for my roommates, by this point, who were supposed to be picking me up because I knew they both had to get up early the next morning and it was getting later and later and I had a lot of luggage: a huge suitcase, a Massive duffel bag, my laptop bag, and my purse. I had some serious issues carrying all of those at once. Moving on....I made it without puking all over everyone and everything. I'm sure United appreciates that, as do the guys sitting next to me. But, now I have a headache headed toward a migraine. Who wouldn't? So I wait for my bags and duffel bag? Yes. Suitcase? No. They delivered it the next day (I didn't get it on the way there either) Booo....That officially made this the worst trip EVER. I'm NEVER EVER EVER flying through Chicago again. Not if I can avoid it at least. By the time my roommates showed up and I had filled out my missing baggage claim ticket I was nearly in tears. I was dry heaving when I got home and then the trip from HELL was over. The End.
