I am a critical care nurse, a travel nurse, a travel lover, a dog lover, a dog mom, an introvert (although at work, you'd guess I am extroverted), an empath, an INFJ, a truth seeker, a dreamer, a deeply serious soul with a wicked sense of humor, an aunt, a friend, a daughter, and a sister. These are my thoughts and experiences about nursing and life. I have changed quite a bit since starting this blog, but to honor where I have been and where I am going I have kept all my entries whether or not they are memories that I want to keep. My goal in life is to obtain inner peace, be the change, and mostly to be a beautiful soul! Namaste, my friends!!

Showing posts with label Reen. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Reen. Show all posts

Tuesday, February 5, 2008

My Superwoman Complex

On my first day of Kindergarten (age 5) I walked in and met the two girls that would become my best friends for the next six years of elementary school. We'll call them Superwoman and Reen. (Superwoman, another best friend, me, another best friend, and Reen- age 8...complete with whipped cream) Superwoman (actually we still call each other this on occasion) and I stayed best friends all the way through high school and are still really close today.
(me and Superwoman- yes I did actually have a Superwoman sign on my graduation cap, haha)
(Superwoman, me, and Reen at our High School Graduation Party) She's one of those friends that no matter how much time has gone by when we get together nothing has changed. Anyways, as kids sometimes we played dress up. I know for me that's really girly, but don't worry that was mixed between our times of playing outside. Reen could also go by "horse enthusiast." So we spent a lot of our time playing (or rather working) with her horses in the dirt (of course), if that makes you feel any better about the girliness. Anyways, when we played dress up we used to run around the house in Superwoman underwear. I guess they made us feel powerful or something. haha Yep, those are great memories. But, I'm thinking that may be where my Superwoman Complex started...

I have these phases in my life where I decide that I must be Superwoman. I know I'm studying Multiple Personality Disorder (actually it's called Dissociative Identity Disorder now), but I think this is taking it a little far. I think I can take on the world. Yeah, unfortunately I am quickly reminded that I am not a superhero and I am only human. Booooo. Last week I spent 3 or 4 days under so much stress I was actually physically shaking. I looked like I had Parkinson's tremors (yes, everything is a medical analogy for me, you'll get used to it). Something major was going on with every member of my immediate family and unfortunately I live in Virginia which is approximately between 1700 and 2400 miles from my different family members. Entirely too far away for me to do much of anything. I have this problem with wanting to take on everyone's problems and take away their pain. Not that this is a bad thing, but unfortunately I've found you can't really solve anyone else's problems and you can't take away their pain. You can be a support (which is hard from this far away) and love them, but you can't things away. Yeah, I'm not a superhero and I am not God. He is the only one who can really do this for us all. Anyways, you add all of this stress plus enough homework to last me into the next century (at least that's what it feels like) and other stresses which I won't get into here...but it turned me into a complete disaster. I wasn't sleeping and when I slept I had nightmares. Plus I was still sick (yeah, for the last month). Unfortunately my family and my best friend got the brunt of this hyperventilating, sick, basket case. Poor things. Bless them for sticking by me. Then it occurred to me that I was trying to be Superwoman again. This has happened many times before (you'd think I'd learn). So I finally had to admit that I can't do it all, I can't fix everyone else's problems single-handedly and I'm not Superwoman. Damn. Hmm...maybe I just need a side-kick. Nope. No. No. Jennie, you're still not Superwoman. Back to reality...until I try to be Superwoman again. "Up in the sky, look! It's a bird! It's a plane! It's....[Yeah, it ain't me, so keep looking]!"