After I got engaged I decided to go to Belize for 3 weeks and get home 11 days before my wedding (actually I decided to go to Belize a long time ago, the wedding just threw in an interesting decision of whether to go or not). While it was incredibly stressful to get prepared to go and to get home so late and it was definitely NOT a vacation, it was also a great experience.
We worked our butts off. I didn't even get a tan until the last two days I was there. Pathetic. For 3 weeks 5 other nursing students and I and two professors did blood pressure and diabetes screenings in clinics, hospitals, and community centers and taught health education including teeth brushing, hand washing, HIV/AIDS education, nutrition, safety, etc. in schools in the villages in the Cayo District of Belize.
(The whole group including our ProBelize leaders) The days were long. It was HOT and HUMID. When I say that, I mean that we soaked through our shirts and didn't even care because there was nothing you could do about it. People had salt lines on their shirts from the sweat. Nasty. But it was rewarding and a great experience.
The poverty was incredible and hard to take in.
(A typical house- this is actually relatively nice even if it is small). It was not something I will forget soon. At times it seemed there was so little we could do it was almost hopeless. I wish I could include more pics, I have thousands, but in an effort to protect identities of the Belizean people I've tried to somewhat hide faces. I truly came to love these people though. I hope someday I can return to San Ignacio and the villages that we visited.
Thanks to Tropical Storm Andrew the Marine Biology group from Marymount joined us in San Ignacio too.
(Both Marymount groups) They have a much more exciting story from Belize than we do. That's a very long story though. Let's just say they had to be rescued by helicopter. Their village ended up under water. We just got days and days and days of pouring rain (it NEVER stopped).
(POURING) That's the condensed and somewhat altered version. But hey, it's a blog. Have some more pics. If you want the real stories from Belize, ask me.
    (Just so you know we stayed in an absolutely INCREDIBLE resort pictured here)   (roughing it in the jungle, haha)  (the damn bird that came through the cage and bit me, yes, actually bit me at the zoo. Great story.)  (Xunantunich Mayan Ruins)   (We also had the amazing opportunity to go to Tikal, Guatemala which was an experience of a lifetime! I climbed those stupid very slick stairs in the rain, not smart, but incredible views!)  (the last day we got to go to Caye Caulker and go snorkeling, it felt like a completely different country, but it was beautiful and fun too!)
I fell asleep standing up today at clinicals. No, I'm not kidding. I was standing over a table reading a chart and I even did the whole head jerk thing, yeah it was awesome. So you can stop complaining about me not blogging. I don't even have time to sleep enough, much less blog (or see my fiance for that matter). I didn't even know it was possible to fall asleep standing up. I'm going to have so many bruises from pinching myself trying to stay awake for hours. Ugh. I'm so sick of writing papers. I'll stop complaining now. I'm off to edit a paper and study for a test. Peace out until I do have time for this. P.S. The fact that I don't have time to write blogs also means I don't have time to read them, I haven't even opened Google Reader in probably 3 weeks, I think. Hang on....Yep, 116 unread blogs. Awesome. Sorry. Someday I'll catch up. Maybe.
On my first day of Kindergarten (age 5) I walked in and met the two girls that would become my best friends for the next six years of elementary school. We'll call them Superwoman and Reen.  (Superwoman, another best friend, me, another best friend, and Reen- age 8...complete with whipped cream) Superwoman (actually we still call each other this on occasion) and I stayed best friends all the way through high school and are still really close today.  (me and Superwoman- yes I did actually have a Superwoman sign on my graduation cap, haha)  (Superwoman, me, and Reen at our High School Graduation Party) She's one of those friends that no matter how much time has gone by when we get together nothing has changed. Anyways, as kids sometimes we played dress up. I know for me that's really girly, but don't worry that was mixed between our times of playing outside. Reen could also go by "horse enthusiast." So we spent a lot of our time playing (or rather working) with her horses in the dirt (of course), if that makes you feel any better about the girliness. Anyways, when we played dress up we used to run around the house in Superwoman underwear. I guess they made us feel powerful or something. haha Yep, those are great memories. But, I'm thinking that may be where my Superwoman Complex started... I have these phases in my life where I decide that I must be Superwoman. I know I'm studying Multiple Personality Disorder (actually it's called Dissociative Identity Disorder now), but I think this is taking it a little far. I think I can take on the world. Yeah, unfortunately I am quickly reminded that I am not a superhero and I am only human. Booooo. Last week I spent 3 or 4 days under so much stress I was actually physically shaking. I looked like I had Parkinson's tremors (yes, everything is a medical analogy for me, you'll get used to it). Something major was going on with every member of my immediate family and unfortunately I live in Virginia which is approximately between 1700 and 2400 miles from my different family members. Entirely too far away for me to do much of anything. I have this problem with wanting to take on everyone's problems and take away their pain. Not that this is a bad thing, but unfortunately I've found you can't really solve anyone else's problems and you can't take away their pain. You can be a support (which is hard from this far away) and love them, but you can't things away. Yeah, I'm not a superhero and I am not God. He is the only one who can really do this for us all. Anyways, you add all of this stress plus enough homework to last me into the next century (at least that's what it feels like) and other stresses which I won't get into here...but it turned me into a complete disaster. I wasn't sleeping and when I slept I had nightmares. Plus I was still sick (yeah, for the last month). Unfortunately my family and my best friend got the brunt of this hyperventilating, sick, basket case. Poor things. Bless them for sticking by me. Then it occurred to me that I was trying to be Superwoman again. This has happened many times before (you'd think I'd learn). So I finally had to admit that I can't do it all, I can't fix everyone else's problems single-handedly and I'm not Superwoman. Damn. Hmm...maybe I just need a side-kick. Nope. No. No. Jennie, you're still not Superwoman. Back to reality...until I try to be Superwoman again. "Up in the sky, look! It's a bird! It's a plane! It's....[Yeah, it ain't me, so keep looking]!" 
So I got up at 5am after a pretty rough night, spent all day at clinicals at a Psychiatric Hospital, and then came home exhausted and I wanted to just sit here and whine about my life falling apart, but I have to say I've been humbled today. I won't go into details of why because it is too difficult to explain. But, I will say that today made me very grateful for my relatively simple problems. I do not have to deal constantly with delusions, hallucinations, paranoia, psychosis, etc. Thankfully, that is not part of my reality. But it is part of many people's lives and I am learning to really appreciate how difficult life must be for them. I will continue to strive to develop empathy for those people who are not as fortunate as I am to have a relatively blessed life. But, I am humbled and so I decided that my best solution is to list all the things that I am grateful for today. Here goes...I am grateful.... That I only got semi-lost in Seven Corners today (and GPS units) That I didn't lose my brother last week That I have a brand new beautiful nephew and that my sister-in-law is doing well That even though I'm horribly homesick that means that I have more than one place I can call home Eternal Families- I can't think of anyone else on earth that I would rather spend eternity with than my family Good Music True friends who stick with me even through the worst of times Friends who text you just to tell you that they're thinking about you and love you (thanks for that!) Modern technology that allows me to stay in touch with my family and friends no matter where they are That it's not snowing That I can be in school to do what I've wanted to do since I was 17 and that I'm just as passionate about my career as I was back then. I still love what I do. An incredibly compassionate Bishop. He is a great man. My Testimony of the Gospel, the Scriptures, and the Prophets (past and present) Last, but definitely not least, President Hinckley. I am grateful for the life he led. The example he was. His sense of humor. His love for the Lord, Gospel, and for all people. I never had the priviledge of meeting this incredible man and yet I mourn his death as if he was a good friend. I remember every time I had the opportunity to be in the same room as the Prophet though. It is impossible to explain the Spirit that that man radiated whenever he walked into a room. You could physically feel the change as soon as he entered. I was moved to tears every time I watched and felt this happen. I cherish every one of those experiences. I knew he loved me every time I heard him speak and I knew the Lord loved me. I thank my Heavenly Father for sending us that wonderful man to guide His church for a time. I am thankful for President Monson who is an amazing man as well. I am grateful for modern day revelation. There is not much I can say that my friends have not already all touched on in their tributes to President Hinckley but I will miss this man. He taught me to: 1. Be grateful. 2. Be smart. 3. Be clean. 4. Be true. 5. Be humble. 6. Be prayerful. Relatively simple, but profound instructions that have guided me over the past almost 8 years since this talk was given. The day after his passing I was emailed this video from BYU. I thought it was a nice remembrance of him. I second that, "thank you President Hinckley for our journey together." While he will be missed I do not begrudge him the opportunity to be reunited with his sweet wife. In his book, "Stand A Little Taller" the quote for today, February 4th is this, "Your best self: Keep faith with the best that is in you. Your own constant self-improvement will become as a polar star to those with whom you associate. They will remember longer what they saw in you than what they heard from you. Your attitude, your point of view can make such a tremendous difference." 
OK so I haven't written in a long time I realize. These are the last few experiences from my classes last semester. I know it took me forever to write this even though I started forever ago. Sorry. I hope they're worth it now. :) Enjoy! So Scatterbrained was on a whole nother (is that a word? eh, oh well, it is now) level one week. This is a direct quote from her while we were studying GI (gastrointestinal): "this is boring. Well it's really not boring, you can save someone's life with this stuff. But, I'm like dying for a guest speaker for GI." Um, did she really just say that her topic was boring? Wow. I guess it was true though, GI is pretty boring but we still have to learn it. I'm not sure a guest speaker would have helped us though. Scratch that...maybe that class would have made more sense from guest speakers. This is a demonstration of what she drew on the board almost daily with her notes.  Yeah that's a box that's circled like 10 times with arrows coming off of it pointing to things all over the board. This was a daily occurrence. Too bad you can't read her handwriting. I think my all time favorite moment in that class was when she brought in two old casts from a broken arm and a broken leg and made one of my friends put the cast on to demonstrate something. EWWWWWWWWWW GROSS!!!! Who wants to put on someone else's old, dirty, smelly, nasty cast?! That gives me the willies!! Poor girl. Then Scatterbrained threw her leg up on the front table in our classroom and tried the leg cast on herself. I'm pretty sure I'm was trying to contain my laughter (and horror) on the back row by that time. Yuck!! Seriously. Oh well. She's a really nice lady and was a pretty good professor (minus the ditsy part) and I did fine in her class so whatever, moving on. My last class period of Drama Queen's class period was rather uneventful, if I remember right, except she just HAD to get in one last jab about milk. Ugh. It started out with her going off on calcium. She told us to ask our patients: "Excuse me?! How much calcium do you take?" Then she told us that we should "take enough to supply our bones, but not too much." This has to do with kidney stones and how too much calcium (aka milk according to her) causes them, supposedly. She said that she "just had to bring it up." Well yes, we wouldn't have it any other way on our last class period than to have you vent one last time about milk. Then she succeeded in throwing in her anti-men clause as well. Kidney stones are incredibly painful (just so you know). But this was her little complaint about men. "Especially men, they act like they are in labor and I say 'No way!' They act like such babies." Hahaha, eh never mind it was funny when she said it. But your public service announcement for the day is that you "need to be really careful about how much milk you drink." Oh no, not again! I'm so freaking sick of hearing about milk. Not that I'm a big milk drinker, but I love cereal, therefore I have milk in my diet. Heaven forbid. However, this is NOT something I ever want to have (forgive the pic, don't worry, they're much grosser in person).  But FYI, high calcium alone isn't a risk factor for kidney stones (despite what DQ's opinions may be) other factors are involved. Enough with the nursing stuff. She was also a very nice professor, as dramatic as she could be.
On to the title story of the blog. No, you didn't read that wrong. That is a direct quote from Monotone herself in one of my last class periods. Monotone said, "Good thing babies are breakable." I burst out laughing, I just couldn't contain it, it was too funny. But I was kind of loud and by this time everyone in the class was zoned out already. She looks at me and she's like, "what?!" I'm like "did you hear what you just said? [at which point she stares at me blankly, so I have to repeat it back to her] 'Good thing babies are breakable.'" I was having a hard time keeping a straight face (I think she was surprised to find that I was even listening to her at that point). Monotone then tried to correct herself by saying "one good thing about the babies is that they break easy. [I was still laughing, that sounded just as bad- so she tried to fix it again] Not that they break easy, but that they heal easy. It came out wrong." Well, obviously. I would hope that you're not glad that babies break easily. Too bad she didn't find this situation nearly as humorous as me and my friends did. It was worth it to go to class this day just to hear her say that. I still think it's funny. :D
There's this weird thing about winter here where everyone and everything gets really staticy (that's not a word either). (Yes, I'm going somewhere with this) After the whole breakable babies conversation I had a hard time (harder than usual) concentrating in that class. Both my friend and I were really staticy though and kept shocking each other. So we were discussing this (instead of the lecture- during the lecture)...the following is the disastrous (or funny, whichever way you want to look at it) result of sarcasm + the two of us + Monotone's class + funny moments in Monotone's class + no filter + lack of sleep + too much stress + end of semester= Me: "you just have a sparking personality. You want me to rub you? Oh wait...That sounded wrong...." :) Her: "I dig myself a hole. You jump in it and start covering yourself up." Unfortunately that's very true. Damn.
Moving on to the Postpartum Depression lecture (that was like 15 minutes later in the class)....this was my friend's response about how she's going to be when she has kids. "I'm gonna be like WTF?" [when they hand her the baby and she doesn't know what to do with it]. Me: "Your kids are going to need therapy before they get home [from the hospital]." Her: "I'm not going to lie to you. Maybe that's what their Dad is for." Lovely. Well if we haven't learned anything else this semester I think we have come to the conclusion....are you ready for it?! OK my final conclusion for this last semester is....We're not ready for kids yet. Love them to death, but yeah I'm so NOT ready for them. Nephews and nieces are great. At the end of the day, you get to give them back. I've lived with a nephew and niece and I just spent the Christmas vacation with my nephew and nieces. Yeah, I wouldn't trade them for anything, but boy am I glad I'm still single at this point in my life. There you go folks, that's the final blog for last semester. Sorry it took so long. I hope you're IQ didn't drop reading this. Alright, off to bed so I can start a whole new semester at 8am tomorrow morning. Bleh.
Not the fun (although sometimes we are that too). Or as my ex-Aunt's twin sister (yes, you read that right) said, "Well sometimes family is the 'f' word." I've decided that every family is a little bit dysfunctional. I'm not always talking immediate families, but if you include extended families then we all have some element of dysfunction in our families. My family (extended) are pros at dysfunction. I love them to death, but at times they drive me crazy. This story is in no way meant to be demeaning or derogatory towards my family or my family name because I'm still a part of this family at the end of the day and I still claim them as my own dysfunctional as they (and I) may be. Yes, I am part of the dysfunction too. :) I love them to death and of course I'd do anything for them which is why I can say we're a bit dysfunctional. Anyways, on with the story... My beloved Grandmother after 99 wonderful years of life passed away at the end of last year (2007). So less than two months after I visited New Hampshire on vacation this fall, I flew to New Hampshire again, the weekend before finals. But family comes first, so you do what you have to do. My Uncle is a pretty opinionated person (must run in the family), love him to death, but it's always his way or the highway. I'm one of the few people who dare to talk back to him. Anyways, he wanted one of my brothers and I to be pal-bearers at the funeral. I'd never heard of a female being a pal-bearer before but it was ok with me as long as I wasn't the only female doing it. My Grandmother's cousin was one as well (actually I don't really know what she is, I just know she's related, oops). Anyways, I was picking my battles with my Uncle at this point so I accepted his request. However, his next request is NOT one that I was willing to do. He was making the funeral into a freaking huge production. Kind of ridiculous. As much as I love my Grandmother and Uncle it was a little bit out of control. He decided that he wanted all of the pal-bearers to wear matching purple neck ties that match the sweater that my Grandmother was wearing. Uh, pause one minute there please....matching neck ties?! This isn't a wedding and I'm sorry but that's a little morbid. Yes I do know how to tie a tie, I have 3 older brothers. However, I am still a girl I will NOT wear a tie in public (unless it's for a good reason, this did not qualify). When my Uncle told my mother this she was like "Uh, Jennie will NOT wear a tie for you." My Uncle's response, "she won't? Really? Huh....Are you SURE she won't wear a tie." Mom: "Yes, I'm sure. She's a girl. She doesn't wear ties" (those may not be direct quotes, but they're pretty darn close). When my Mom told me this I was like, "uh Mom, I'm not wearing a tie. I may be a tomboy at times, but I'm still a girl." So my Uncle's next proposition was "well, will she wear a purple scarf then?" "Yes, she'll probably wear a scarf." If it'll make my Uncle happy I'll wear the darn scarf. Good grief. A tie. Honestly. The funeral went well and we (me and the other lady pal-bearer) did not end up wearing purple scarves, but the guys all wore the purple ties. I won't go into the rest of the details of the weekend, but it was definitely an experience. Needless to say I did not get a lot of studying done and my finals didn't go so well, but I passed all my classes and I didn't even get any C's so I'm ok with that considering everything that happened this semester. Yes, my family is still very dysfunctional. With everything that happened that weekend, it definitely reaffirmed that, but I still love them unconditionally. It was still worth it to go. A tie. *SNORT* Wow.
I stole this survey from someone else :) [X] Became single [X] got kissed [X] kissed someone new [ ] kissed in the snow [ ] kissed in the rain [ ] kissed on the beach [ ] 'fell in love' [ ] 'fell in love' with a fool [X] had my heart broken [X] broke someone else's heart [X] had a stalker [X] lost a friend [X] had a good relationship with someone [ ] came out of my closet [ ] got married [ ] had a divorce [X] kissed someone of the same sex (on the cheek) [X] dated someone that you will never forget [X] did something I regret [X] lost faith in love [ ] kissed under mistletoe [ ] got a promotion [ ] got a pay raise [ ] changed jobs [ ] quit my job [ ] dated a co-worker [ ] dated my boss [ ] dated my boss's son/ daughter [ ] got fired from my job [ ] got straight A's [X] met a teacher who I became friends with [X] met a teacher who I really hate [X] found the subject I love [X] failed a class (since a 78% is now failing for me. Booo) [X] cut class [X] skipped school [ ] got in a fight with a classmate [X] did something I was proud of [X] discovered a new talent [X] proved myself that I'm an idiot [X] embarrassed myself in front of the class [ ] fell in love with a teacher [ ] got the lead/minor lead role in the school play [ ] made a team [X] was involved in something that I will never forget [ ] painted a picture [ ] wrote a poem [ ] ran a mile [X] listened to music I couldn't stand [X] double dipped [X] went to a sleepover [ ] went to camp [ ] threw a surprise party [X] laughed till I cried [X] flirted shamelessly [ ] visited a foreign country [X]visited a state [ ] cooked a disastrous meal [X] lost something important to me [X] got a gift I love [X] realized something new about myself [ ] went on a diet [ ] tried to gain weight [ ] dyed my hair [ ] came close to losing my life [X] someone/thing close to me died [ ] got arrested [X] read a great book [X] saw a great movie [ ] saw a movie so scary that it made me cry [ ] saw a favorite band live [X] did something that I wanted to tell everyone [X] experienced something new [X] made new friends [X] found out who your real friends are [X] lied to your parents [ ] snuck out [ ] got in trouble with the po-po [ ] kissed in a pool [X] kissed under the stars [X] had the time of your life [X] danced [ ] fell out of love [X] had a crush on someone [X] swam in a pool [ ] made a snowman [ ] went snowboarding [ ] went sledding [X] slept in past 2pm [X] held someone’s hand that you care about [ ] got wasted in a public place [X] told someone you like them as more than a friend [X] gone on vacation [X] gone on vacation with a friend [X] driven a car [ ] danced in the rain [X] got in a car accident [X] seen someone get in a car accident [ ] got in a fist fight [X] laughed until you couldn't breathe [X] missed someone [ ] sent someone to the hospital [ ] got a new pet A YEAR-END SURVEY1.) Who was your best friend at the beginning of this year? The end? At the beginning- friends from home and Utah, End- Still friends from home and lots of new friends from Va and DC. 2.) What was your status by Valentine's Day? Single. 3.) Were you in school (anytime this year)? Yes, the whole year. 4.) How did you earn your keep? Ha. Doing homework and more homework and more homework and going to clinicals. Did I mention doing homework?! 5.) Did you ever have to go to the hospital? hahahahaha all the time....for clinicals. 6.) Have you encountered the police this year? :) 7.) Where did you go on vacation? Utah, Colorado, NYC, New Hampshire, Maine, Massachusetts 8.) What did you purchase that was over $500? Tuition, books 9.) Did you know anybody who got married? Of course 10.) Did you know anybody who passed away? My Grandma died :( 11.)How many times did you go on facebook/myspace? many many times 12.) Did you move anywhere? To Virginia 13.) What sporting events did you go to? Caps, Nationals (is that it?! Ugh. That sucks) 14.) What concerts did you go to? Harry and the Potters is the only one I can remember. Lamesauce. 15) Are you registered to vote? In Colorado 16.) If so, did you do your patriotic duty on Nov. 6? I didn't get my absentee ballot. I suck. 17.) Where do you live now? Arlington, VA 18.) Describe your birthday. I sent all of my friends and family an email describing what they could and couldn't talk to me about (see in one of my previous blogs) and CRD brought me DP (he is awesome!!). Then my roommies took me to dinner at P.F. Chang's (the only Chinese food I like- not really Chinese, but very good). It was fabulous!! 19.) What's the one thing you thought you would never do but did in 2007? make it through my first year of nursing school (I knew I'd do it, it's just amazing it's done) 20.) What is one thing you regretted this year? Don't really want to rehash bad memories, thank you 21.) What's something you learned about yourself? That I'm a different person on the East Coast than I am at home 22.) Any new additions to your family? Not yet...unless you count the nephew in my sister-in-law's belly 23.) What was your best month? Do people have "best months?" 24.) How would you rate this year with a scale from 1 (crappy) to 10 (amazing)? I dunno. 7 maybe
So clinicals were a little out of control tonight. They were loooong and at points kind of boring. Other points were cool. I won't give you details on seeing a circumcision done or feeling a fundus, cuz I'm pretty sure that just made some of you puke, but it wasn't all bad. There were some interesting moments. The problem moments were between my instructor and a certain individual (who will remain un-named although you could probably figure it out), they had somewhat of a disagreement. In other words, they despise each other. Basically they spent the entire shift venting about each other and we vented about this particular individual too. He irritates the staff, offends the patients, and pisses off our instructor, along with annoying all of our clinical group. We just dread all shift what's going to go wrong next with him...aka what he's going to do to piss someone else off and then my instructor has to try to fix it. Don't get me wrong, this individual is very nice and probably has good intentions he just goes about them all the wrong way. When he doesn't get his way he appeals to the person above the person he asked and so on until someone gets so irritated they just say yes to get him to just shut up and leave them alone. He thinks he's entitled to everything whenever he wants it. Lamesauce. Then he throws a hissy fit when he doesn't get his way. Good grief, we're not in grade school anymore, kids. These are our second degrees. Grow up!! Anyways, my clinical instructor happens to be a very outspoken person (sound familiar?!). Except, unlike me, she uses very, um, filthy language when talking, especially when she's mad. Boy was she mad today....and at a student, even worse. She went off on this particular student to us several times while he was in another part of the hospital observing, then she came to "save us" from him during dinner, then when this particular student didn't show up for our presentations on time (like half an hour late) I thought she was going to blow a gasket. The cuss words flying around that room were a bit shocking. That's not the worst of it though...the worst is what he was calling her. He literally pulled my friend out of her patient's room (where her patient was giving birth) and started spouting off about our instructor and then decided that he was going to disregard our instructor's instructions anyways and go watch a C-Section that he wanted to see, just because he felt like it. He hates our instructor so he was complaining about her in the hallway to my poor friend. #1 Totally inappropriate place for that conversation (patients and families are all around and can hear everything you're saying), #2 Very unprofessional, #3 If you have a problem talk to the person you have the problem with, not everyone else, #4 Wow, I won't repeat the word he used to describe our instructor, but it's possibly THE most offensive word you can use to describe a female (no, I'm not kidding) and he said this is the hallway of the Labor/ Delivery floor. So needless to say, it was an unpleasant atmosphere in our post-conference tonight. Our instructor was confronting him as we were leaving....we bailed, we practically ran out of the building. Don't get me wrong, I don't usually back down from fights, but when you start resorting to name calling like we're 12 years old again and I think fists might actually get involved between 2 sober adults, I'm sorry I'm outta there. Good grief, buddy, grow up. Buck up and do your school work. She's the instructor with a Bachelor's and Master's and years of experience in this stuff why can't you just follow her instructions for once?? This isn't Celebrity Death Match, I didn't sign up for this.
It's been a while since I wrote a blog on my actual classes, sorry. Just for the record, my instructor was wrong, my slides say it's actually > 3-4 cups/day of caffeine that's unsafe for pregnant women, not 5. Still, that's a LOT. I decided after my class last week that Drama Queen is just plain Anti-Estrogen in addition to the multitude of many other issues she has. But that would explain a lot if she is. She also just can't leave milk alone. She just has to bring it up every class. Basically my friends and I decided that "If you learned anything in this class, just don't drink milk." Ok, wow, I think I'm dumber for being here. My big mouth got me in serious trouble though last week. My friends call it my filter. The filter between my brain and my mouth. Yeah, sometimes it catches things before I say them out loud, often it does not. Hence the blog name. :) Anyways, we were doing a test review and the professor basically just reads the test to us. Awesome. So she's rattling off questions and (p.s. having 4 3rd semester accelerated nursing students sitting together in a 1st semester class is a really bad idea, we are just FULL of smart ass comments. I'm sure she thinks we're obnoxious know-it-alls who don't care...oh yeah, we are :P)....she's like asthma is caused by allergies and allergies are triggered by (here's her pause waiting for the answer and Jennie yells out)....."MILK !!!" Oh my gosh, I actually said that out loud!! Wow. Oops. Everyone just burst out laughing. Brilliant Jennie. It was like a knee jerk reaction, but I just couldn't resist giving the smart ass response. I don't know if she heard me, but people like 7 rows up from me were laughing, so apparently it was really loud. I'm sure she hates me now. Eh, oh well. She pretty much begged for that one. Oh, I'm so mean. Moving on... Drama Queen also went off last week about Colorado and high altitudes. I'm from Colorado and I miss it horribly, I absolutely love that state. Ok that was a side note. She was talking about pulmonary edema (short explanation- fluid in the air sacs in the lungs) and how you can get it from hiking at high altitudes. Ok, granted that's true, but rare. But she basically sounded like a commercial for this drug Diamox that you can take that helps you breathe better. "I highly recommend that when you go to Colorado you get a prescription." Ha, that's the Florida girl talking. She talked about going hiking in Colorado and how it's SO high. blah blah blah Ok, I hiked a fourteener last year. It really wasn't that hard and it was totally worth it. Of course I was acclimated to Colorado altitude, but still it's not really THAT high. She's like, "they suggest you walk in, not fly." *Snort* City girl! Then of course she had to bring up Wyoming, Tibet and Peru and how the same thing happens in all those places too and you absolutely HAVE to get a prescription for Diamox before you go there because of course it worked for her. Uh huh, cuz she's so cultural. I swear by the time my class is over every week you'd think my eyes would be stuck in a permanent eye roll.
Ok, different class now...Stalker was really on one yesterday. This was great dialog between Stalker and my friend and I (at the back of the class of course, so he didn't hear us) though: [We were talking about epidurals and spinals that are given to women during labor] S: "So this is given after?" Us: "Because post-partum means what?" "When the baby is parted from the mother's body." Wow. I feel like my IQ drops every lecture. Apparently we need to go over basic definitions like "post" again. Unbelievable. People in my class (the same people, over and over and over again) kept asking the same questions too. Write it down people. You could tell my professor was getting ticked, she actually started being short with people. By this time my friend and I were having completely different discussions in the back of the class of course and laughing our heads off. That probably didn't help my professor's mood. Eh, I don't really care. We were annoyed too. Part of that discussion involved the fact that several people were wearing rather unusual hats in class. This is an example of what some sort of looked like.    (this last one was on "uh-huh's head, if you remember him from my MySpace blogs, except it was much much smaller, as in it only covered the very top of his head, yeah weird). Ok here's the dialog now: "What's up with the hats today?" "Maybe it blocks the rain [it's been raining for 2 days straight now]." "It doesn't even cover their faces." "Maybe he has a problem losing body heat." "hahaha." "Apparently we're in Paris now." "I love it." :) Alright I saved the worst for last. Since it's O.B. the pictures in our slides are rather graphic. (See the "Do I have what?! Shhh...." Doctor Porn blog for more explanation). My friend likes to point out that they also happen to be drawn anatomically incorrect. I decided that including one of those pictures was just a really bad idea and this is the commentary that resulted between said friend and I: "You're doing your part to de-sexualize medical conditions." LOL...actually that was from her friend and I just sat there and stared at her for a minute and was like, are you serious?! "That's not even remotely attractive." "Well I just think people need to know this." I still decided that including the pics was too graphic. This was her advice to me, "Well you did make your blog PG-13," and my response, "Ok, that's just flat out X." Uh yeah sorry, no pictures kids.
I flew from Baltimore to Manchester, New Hampshire last Thursday and the following are some of the safety instructions that the flight attendant gave at the beginning of our flight. “It’s a $2000 fine for smoking in the lavatory and if you had that kind of money, let’s be honest, you would’t be flying Southwest. If the pressure in the cabin changes during the flight, first of all stop screaming and strangling the guy in the seat next to you, unless of course he is incredibly attractive :D…If there happens to be an emergency, well if we already knew about it we would have called in sick today of course…blah blah blah.” She said more, but I missed it. Apparently no one else was listening and thought the flight attendant was funny, but I was cracking up and I wasn’t even really listening. Instead of listening, I was reading a textbook smashed between two full-sized men. What is it about being in the middle seat that you just HAVE to be between 2 huge guys? Good thing my flight was only about an hour and 15 minutes. Luckily I was just reading the Pediatric part of my textbook. People don’t tend to appreciate when I read the OB part of it in public. The pictures (refer to my “Do I have what?! Shhhh….” Blog for the Doctor Porn story) don’t tend to go over very well with non-medical personnel. Still it was pretty uncomfortable to try to read/ highlight a humongous textbook smashed between two guys who were taking up more than their fair share of room. It’s one thing to read a flat piece of paper or book, but when you have to open the cover to read a textbook, its pretty inconvenient b/c then you’re taking up twice as much room on your lap space with it. So you have to hold up one cover and try to read sideways which is really hard, by the way, while trying to highlight too. At least I finished reading the rest of the chapter and could move on to the novel, much more convenient for plane reading. Just like medical TV shows, I love medical novels. They’re fascinating and educational. Oh...I am SUCH a dork. Oh well, I really do learn things by reading them. That’s how I justify taking time to do reading for pleasure, not from my textbooks, every once in a while. P.S. On the way home the flight attendant during the safety instructions again added funny stuff such as, "the attendant will be by to shut all the overhead compartments and to make sure your belt matches your shoes." He also said something about your kids "or if you're like the guy up here who's just acting like a kid." Again, no one laughed. Why am I the only one who hears these things? I wasn't even paying attention. Good grief, I guess if there is ever a crash we'll all be screwed or we can hope we've heard the instructions enough times that we'll remember them. Hmmm...
I don't really have time to put a full story of last week's classes together so this is just the highlights. Drama Queen has it in for milk, seriously. For some reason my slides aren't opening so I'll just quote what she typed on the slides, my comments are in brackets. "Do not put a baby or child to bed with a bottle of milk!!! [Um, this is Pathophysiology, NOT Pediatrics, I happen to be in OB and Peds right now too, so I don't really think you're the expert on kids, sorry.] If the child must have a bottle in bed, fill it only with water. When they lie flat, children will aspirate the milk down the right main stem bronchus and develop pneumonia- very common [I'm pretty sure if you lie anyone flat with fluids while sleeping, they'll aspirate and could develop pneumonia, it's not just the milk]. No pacifiers- They cause vacuum pressure in eustachian tubes with resultant otitis media (ear infection). No smoking around infants and children- results in lung and ear infections." She then felt the need to add her comment that this was not her bias and that studies have been done that have shown these results [that just made me roll my eyes, not your bias, B.S.]. She also mentioned several times that her children didn't ever take pacifiers [of course not, because your children were perfect, of course]. This woman drives me crazy! I wish I could put some of our slides on here for last week, you can't even read them, the print is so small and they're just paragraphs of information that we can't even read. Oh, and how do you know that your professors need a hobby? When they're so bored they're putting the pictures of famous authors who had diseases from the 1800's on your slides because they have nothing better to do. What a waste of ink and paper, since we have to print them out. This particular author that she put a picture of on our slides had TB (tuberculosis). She told his story of how he moved to a better climate for treating his TB, then his wife hated it, so they moved to a different climate and the "TB loved it. [like it had a personality] It did him in. [Of course it did, otherwise the story would SO not be worth DQ telling it]." It's like inanimate objects talking, except now diseases have personalities too, lovely. Oh, and we're CONSTANTLY told NOT to diagnose in nursing school, including this class. But somehow several times each week DQ will find a way to slip into her lectures "nurses do a big job in diagnosing." Or "the doctor told me that basically I diagnosed the guy." Of course you did, and you're the hero and you lived happily ever after....oh wait, wrong story. Oh, by the way, apparently DQ has gone off on milk in other classes. My friend said that she also told them not to shave their arm-pits [excuse me while I gag here] and that deoderant is bad and gives you infections, or something like that [remind me never to get too close to her]. The woman might actually be insane, I don't know though, I'm not supposed to diagnose. OB is always interesting as well. Monotone nearly kills me each week of boredom. Everytime I look around the room everyone looks like a bunch of zombies that are completely zoned out. We may be looking at the professor, but that doesn't mean we're paying attention. Like I said, it takes all of 10 minutes or less to zone out in that class. The glazed over eyes aren't from drugs, they're from boredom and lack of sleep. This is about how I feel about that class:  Actually this picture was on the slide about the effects of alcohol and drugs and tobacco on pregnant women. As my professor put it, "cigarrettes have that stuff in them, what is it called, nicotine, in addition to upteine other things, and it's best avoided." Um, no kidding. Street drugs will cause your "baby to be born as a junkie." Oh yes, this is the enlightenment I get in my classes each week. That doesn't even count the comments we get from the idiots in our classes. OB is probably the worst b/c some of the students have kids in there, so obviously they think this makes them THE experts on the subject (more so than the professor, at least). They also think whatever stupid things they hear from their friends who have kids are automatically facts. One said idiot tried to argue with my professor for like 10 minutes about whether you can have too much Vitamin C or not. My professor kindly tried to explain time and time again that Vitamin C is water-soluble and therefore goes right through you. It can't build up in your body. But this girl was having none of that. She's still convinced that you can have too much. Apparently we need to go over the definitions of water and fat-soluble again. Good grief. Pre-natal classes are common and there's several different ones besides just "Lamaze" which is the one most people have heard of. Unfortunately, one of them is named after it's creator "Dick-Read." Why the hell would you name a childbirth education class this? I also love (NOT) that all of them are created by men. As one of my friends raised her hand and asked in class, "are any of these actually created by a woman who's been through birth?" Seriously! One of them is all about the woman being able to feel the pain and he thinks that "fear of birth = tension/ pain." Um, I'm pretty sure that's because he's a guy and he's never been through it. The jerk. I'd love to see him try to go through just an hour of labor. I'm pretty sure he'd change his entire philosophy then. Apparently when you no longer fear the birth you won't feel tension or pain. Yeah right. Peds was actually pretty good this week. I actually learned stuff. That might have more to do with the fact that I had a really cute 14 month old as a patient this week, so lecture related to what I actually saw with my patient. I totally wanted to keep him, he was adorable. But the one highlight from that class was when my professor (Scatterbrained) was talking about allergies [not milk] and stated "If the dog/ cat dies, it's a good opportunity not to get a new one." Brutal! My classmate chimed in and was like "In other words kill it," (sarcastically of course). I think that just came out really wrong for Scatterbrained. It did not go over well for my class. Oh, the title line: "Avoid caffeine = 5 cups of coffee a day" is from OB. Apparently avoiding caffeine during pregnancy is equal to having no more than 5 cups of coffee a day, a couple of bars of chocolate, some coke, etc. Ok, even thinking about that much caffeine is making me sick and I'm not pregnant. Yuck! It sounds a lot like the diets of a lot of my classmates though. Not like mine is all that much better, minus the coffee. :)
So some friends and I were discussing malpractice insurance for Doctors the other night and it reminded me of the time that I could have sued a Doctor for misdiagnosing me....We were also discussing dating which reminds me of the same story. This is why I will NEVER go on another blind date again. This is also why I don't have an appendix, or a belly button either. I woke up at 12:30am with the worst pain I've ever experienced. Actually, it's a toss up between that pain and the pain of having the packing removed from my nose after that surgery. But, that's an entirely different story. I can tolerate my fair share of pain, really at it's worse I've only called my pain an 8 out of 10. For me to call it a 10, I'd have to be unconscious from the pain, nearly dead. Anyways, I suffered through the night somehow until 8:30am and then convinced one of my roommates to take me to the Health Center at BYU (this is no way degrades the care of the Health Center, they are great!!). Let me back up just for a second, my pain was in my abdomen, but was not localized like appendicitis usually is. Since I knew appendicitis is usually pain in the lower right quadrant of the abdomen I figured that it was not appendicitis so I could put heat on it, which I did. BAD BAD idea. NEVER EVER put heat on appendicitis. It can kill you! I'm an idiot. Luckily I survived my stupidity. Back to the Health Center....I received IV #1 and fluids. They took a x-ray of my abdomen and the Doctor determined that I was constipated. Are you freakin' kidding me?! Worst pain of my life and he's says it's just constipation. Yeah right. He wouldn't give me any pain medication because he said that would make the constipation worse. Lovely. I stayed in misery for the next 4 hours at the Health Center. They finally sent me home sometime after noon (they took out my IV) and told me to call if I started vomiting.
I went home and of course...I started vomiting. At this point they decided that I needed to get in to have a CT Scan. So I drove to the Imaging place, bawling my eyes out. At this point, I called my brother and sister-in-law and asked them to meet me there. At the Imaging place of course they had to start another IV (IV #2) to do a contrast CT Scan. If you've never had one of these done, I'll just tell you this, it leaves a copper taste (kind of like penny's) in your mouth and also makes you feel like you peed your pants. I know, awesome. At least I can have empathy for my patients now, I guess. They did the CT Scan and I sat in the waiting room with my bro and sis- in-law and nephew for a while crying until they told me to go straight to the hospital, I had appendicitis, I have to have surgery immediately. Basically, do not pass go, do not collect $200. So, luckily the Imaging place was around the corner from the hospital. I was no longer in any shape to drive though, so I had to leave my car and have my sis-in-law drive. I'm so grateful for the Priesthood in my life. My brother gave me a blessing on the way to the hospital, it wasn't the only one I would get during this hospital visit. We got to the hospital ER (I don't remember what time it was). So much for being an emergency, though. I sat in the waiting room of the ER for like another 2 hours, puking my guts up in a bucket. Oh the joy. I vaguely remember that one of the bathrooms was flooding in the waiting room too, but maybe I just made that detail up, I don't know. My brother called my Mom while when we got to the ER waiting room to tell her what was up. Unfortunately, I had not warned her of what was going on, so she just got a phone call from my brother saying..."we're in the ER, Jennie has to have surgery." Hahaha, my poor Mom. My brother thought I had talked to her earlier, so that news was a bit of a shock to her. Luckily my home in Colorado is only a 5 hour drive from Provo, so she left right away. Now, to the blind date part....
I had a blind date planned with a guy who's parents were good friends with my parents for the night after my surgery. Well...as I was puking in a bucket in the ER waiting room, my date called me to finalize details. Of course I didn't want to answer, so I made my brother answer and explain to him that I was in the ER and about to go to surgery for an emergency Appendectomy, so the date would have to be postponed, obviously. End of story, right? Wrong! But I'll get back to that a little later. I was finally admitted to the actual ER around 5pm, where they FINALLY gave me Morphine for the pain. YAY for narcotics!!!! Big fan!!! So basically I hadn't had ANYTHING for pain for the past approximately 17 hours since my pain had started. Yeah, it was the day from Hell! Well, I had never had Morphine before and it works great for me, but it also knocks me out and makes me pretty loopy. Basically I am NOT responsible for ANYTHING I say when I'm on narcotics. I DO NOT edit what I say and basically you could probably get me to tell you anything. I'm pretty sure it would NOT make any sense though, sorry. I'm not sure if I received IV #3 or if they left the one in from the Imaging center. I thought I spent like 2 hours in the ER waiting to go into surgery. I found out later that it was actually 5 hours. My poor brother, who must seriously love me, sat with me for the entire 5 hours. I love him dearly!! Poor guy! Apparently there were like 3 or 4 more cases of Appendicitis in the ER at the same time I was there, which was really random. I was finally taken back into a prep room for surgery at about 10pm. They gave me something that they said would make me kind of drowsy. Hahahaha, yeah right. I was completely out in like 30 seconds. I don't remember anything until they were taking me into my room 3 hours later. I wasn't even awake to go into the OR. I woke up at 1am as they were wheeling me into my room on the Med/ Surg floor and my Mom had just barely arrived. The funny thing is they put me on the floor below where I worked. 3 weeks previously I had started work on the Medical/ Oncology Floor as a PCT (Patient Care Tech- basically a CNA who gets to draw blood and put in catheters, woohoo :P). I was even supposed to work that weekend. That obviously didn't happen, but I did go up to visit my co-workers, IV pole and all, just to prove that I wasn't just skipping out on work for fun. :) The next day was pretty blurry for me. I was on a lot of drugs, which not only knocked me out, I was also in pain. I know a bunch of people from church, who I didn't know yet (later we became really good friends) came to see me. I don't remember the details though. The funny thing about narcotics and me is that, like I said, I don't have the ability to edit things when I'm on them. So, apparently I told me brother something that is entirely too graphic to put on here (I've taken so many medical classes that I tend to use correct medical terms. This isn't coming out right. Ok, I described something in detail in medical terms that normal people don't use in casual conversation). My mother was mortified, though. I think it's hilarious, but my brother was kind of horrified. Anyways, me on narcotics is dangerous for casual conversation. Back to the blind date thing. The evening after my surgery, we got a phone call in my room that my Mom answered and guess who it was? My blind date. Yeah, guess where he was? Downstairs in the hospital. Oh yeah. No, I'm not kidding. He drove like an hour and a half to get there, it wasn't like I could turn him away. Another note on narcotics, they make me incredibly emotional. So I was completely irrational and had just been crying about something. So anyways, I got to meet my blind date while lying in a hospital bed wearing literally nothing but a hospital gown, no make-up, I've just been through surgery, and I'm totally loopy on narcotics. Lovely. Talk about embarrassing. He does get points for making me cookies and bringing me a card, but I can't quite forget how humiliated I was. Now it's just funny, but it wasn't very funny at the time. Apparently, my Mom spent almost the whole time talking to him. I was too drugged to be very conversational. That may be kind of rude, but considering the state I was in, I didn't care. I did end up going out with him later on our date, which was disastrous, by the way. It was awful. He was sizing me up for marriage the whole time, basically. But, I don't want to totally trash the guy, so back to my hospital story. Nope, I'm not done. It gets better, although the blind date part is done. I should have gone home the next day (Post-Op Day #2?), I think (I don't know, the days all kind of ran together). But I do remember the PCT coming in the next morning and taking me vital signs. She stuck a sat monitor on my finger and nearly panicked when it read my Sats as in the 70's. Yeah, VERY bad. Ok, your "Sats" is your oxygen saturation in your blood. Basically you want it to be above 90% (my nursing professors say much higher, but basically when it gets to 88% it rapidly drops)...so the fact that I was in the 70's was a bit of a panic moment for them. I had to get a chest x-ray, which showed that the bottom of my lungs were starting to collapse (I had atelectasis, my nursing friends will appreciate that diagnosis). Basically, that put me at a big risk for getting pneumonia, unless I started moving around and coughing, deep breathing. By the way, when you've had you're stomach muscle cut through, the last thing you want to do is cough or deep breathe. Yay for nurses who told me about using a pillow as a splint. Ok, I better stop there before I get really carried away with the nursing stuff. They also sent me down for ultrasounds on both of my legs to check for DVT's (blood clots) from lying in bed too much (a cause of the atelectasis). It was a rough day. I finally got to go home the next day (I think). Recovery was like 3 weeks at home and another 3 weeks not lifting anything. That was just a laparoscopic appendectomy. (P.S. Yes, this means I have 3 tiny scars, one of which is in my belly button, basically he destroyed my belly button. I don't really have one anymore). I can't imagine what an open appendectomy would be like. Recovery sucked, to put it lightly. Lortab (Vicodin) was my friend for weeks! Thank goodness I only had one appendix, I NEVER want to do that again. Anyways, the good thing is it did give me a lot of empathy for my patients. I know what it feels like to have a sore throat from being intubated. I know what it feels like to be in pain from having air inflated into your abdomen for surgery and then to have to burp it up for the next day (yes, they do that, and yes, it actually hurts). I know what real pain feels like (to a degree, of course, pain is subjective and different for every person). I know what it's like to need pain medication and to have to wait forever (or so it seemed) for your nurse to bring it to you. Ok, I should stop. Basically, I learned a ton from the experience. Hmm...did I forget anything? That's a really long story, sorry. It's better when I tell it in person, with my voice inflections and facial expressions, of course. I'm not telling this to be cocky or dramatic, it's just a great story. Anyways, I refuse to go on anymore blind dates. They're not worth it. What would happen next time? I'd probably get hit by a truck and have to get my spleen out or something. I can only lose so many internal organs. Yeah, it's not worth it. No go.  (because I'm morbid and like pictures) :)
Ms. Drama Queen was on a roll today. Maybe I should mention that she just got divorced, so maybe that has something to do with why everything is so dramatic for her, I still don't know. Apparently she's VERY biased against cow's milk. "Cow's milk is only for baby cows." Well then, Ok. She vehemently told us this in class today. She's against human beings consuming any kind of milk, clearly. She said and I quote "NO MORE MILK!!!" Wow...she thinks that the majority of people are lactose intolerant or have an allergy to milk and should not be consuming it. She said NO soy milk either, sorry. Soy milk has estrogen in it, she stated and "you'll BLOW RIGHT UP!!!" In other words you'll be very edematous (swollen) from it. Right. I've had soy milk and I've never "blown up." I also have milk with my cereal everyday. LOVE cereal. It's never really bothered me either. I do HATE the smell of milk though, I can't tell whether it's rotten or not. It all smells rotten to me, even when it's not. Little tangent, sorry. Anyways, the woman was pretty passionate about the subject. My friends and I decided that we'd all love to bring milk to class next week just to see what she'd do. Have a flippin' MI (heart attack), I imagine. Then a guy in my class (he may earn himself a nickname by the end of semester), decided that he should invent a bumper sticker that says "Got Milk? Got Allergies?" Um, no comment. Anyways, my professor told her normal dramatic stories in class. Except Pop decided that one story was about her having an allergic reaction. "and then the little girl, I mean boy....named Nancie, I mean Ned..." Yeah and the allergic reaction was probably to milk, go figure. Maybe that's why she's so biased against it. We also covered HIV/ AIDS today. Pop felt the need to tell the class I have HIV by pointing at me. Yeah, I don't. But it was funny nevertheless. The teacher was like, "you don't need to tell us." Oh good grief. Yeah, you know me, total skank and druggie too (rolling eyes). The only way I could've gotten HIV is in the hospital. I did stick myself with a dirty needle once though. It sucked. I had to have my blood tested for like 6 months or a year, I don't remember which. It was less than fun. Don't worry, I'm clean. That's a story for another day though. Anyways my teacher told a story about a couple who came in before their marriage to get tested for HIV. According to my teacher the guy was "REALLY cute!!" Unfortunately, he tested positive for HIV. His fiance' then wanted nothing to do with him, of course. My teacher's comment then was like, "it was really too bad cuz he was REALLY cute. What a pity!" Or something along those lines. Uh, yeah I don't know about her sanity sometimes. Moving on...in my other class today it was back to monkeys again. Some girl in my class watched the Discovery Channel last night and saw a show about Orangutans or something. I have no idea what that had to do with our lecture, but my friend once again stated "I'm not a monkey, dammit!" Orangutans?! Honestly, the people in program worry me some days. Don't worry, it gets better...a lot of our lecture today was on the topic of breast feeding. Milk vs. no milk, that is the question of the day. You're supposed to switch to cow's milk at 1 year old. Would you people make up your minds? Milk or no milk? We moved on to pregnancy. During the first trimester feelings of ambivalence or uncertainty are common in mothers. Questions like, "Is this the right thing for me?" Well, I'm sorry to tell ya, but it's a little too late for that. Sometimes Dad's have " Couvade= pregnancy- related symptoms" in addition to the Mother. The commentary between my friend and me on this was: "Serves him right." "You're mean. Remind me not to talk to your husband when you have your first child." :D We also talked about the Dad's first reaction to the pregnancy. That reminded me of that AT&T commercial where the woman calls her husband and announces she's pregnant, except her call gets dropped and she can't hear him screaming and yelling in excitement. Her response is, "Way to step up there, Rick." hahahahaha, that's one of my favorite commercials, ever! My lecture today reminded me of when my oldest sister-in-law was having her third baby. Her doctor told her she was going from man-to-man to zone defense. Lol, so true. I love those kids though. They have nothing to do with this blog, but being in this class today made me miss them horribly, hence the picture. Isn't she cute?!:)  (Sorry this was pretty disjointed. I'm kinda tired so I'm rambling. Oh well.)
I don't know if it was actually a Yellow Jacket, it might have been a hornet, either way I have NO idea how a bee ended up in my pajama pants @ 5:30am. I totally got stung and then had to try to catch the stupid kamikaze bee careening around my room. My poor roommate was wondering why I was jumping around so much. Now almost 2 days later my leg still hurts and itches. Yay for Benadryl. But, boooo for bees stinging me. I still want to know, how do you get a bee in your pants (excuse the phrase) @ 5:30 in the morning? But this blog isn't actually supposed to be about me, it's about school, of course. Moving on...my professors this semester are interesting to say the least. Scatterbrained, monotone, and drama queen are words that have been used to describe them. Don't get me wrong, they're all very nice and they know their subjects well, but that doesn't mean they're good at teaching them. So, as I stated, one of my teachers is a total drama queen. Maybe it's because our class is in the auditorium in the library where the plays are held. So she teaches from the stage. There's actually a white board that states there will be auditions for some Christmas play soon that is on the stage, so maybe that rubs off on her. I don't know. When she tells stories in class we're just waiting for her to say something like, "and then I came and saved the day..." blah blah blah. One story last week was especially bad. Apparently in Panama there was a guy (and his wife) who had had yellow fever before, so he'd built up an immunity to it (I wasn't listening all that hard, so I think this is what happened, anyways, he had an immunity to it). When they had a really bad epidemic of yellow fever down there and everyone was sick, no one could help them because then they would catch the disease as well. But, since he was immune he was able to go around and eliminate every bit of yellow fever in Panama by himself. Because of this, it was then possible for the Panama Canal to be built. I kid you not, that's what she said. Yeah, I do my fair share of eye rolling in that class. Pop, who sits next to me, just cusses at our teacher and makes sarcastic comments. haha In another class there is, unfortunately, an individual who does not feel the need to wear a bra. I wouldn't normally notice that, but my friend brought it up and now it's really obvious. Gross! This is a quote from a classmate on that topic: "I'm a hippie. I like my freedom." I decided there's entirely too much estrogen in our lecture halls of women. There's only 2 guys in that class, poor things. That class is also incredibly boring. Not because the material is boring, it's not. But because the professor is so monotone that I zone out in about 10 minutes or less. It's bad. So of course we have to entertain ourselves to even stay conscious in class. The following is the disastrous consequences...(once again, I'm not really distinguishing who said what)  At first glance it just looks "busy or crowded." But in response to this picture I said something like, it would be hard to teach your kids about #'s..."this little piggy went to the market." Ohhhh, Jennie you're so morbid. Morbid, but funny according to my friend. She just decided to cross out a toe though, I don't know if that's any less morbid. Ok, maybe. Often in nursing classes you find yourself diagnosing your own problems. All of a sudden you think you have all of these horrible diseases because you have some of the symptoms. This is pretty common, actually. We decided that it's pretty hard to diagnose yourself in OB though, because we're not babies. Except we could probably pull off a "lusty cry like a baby" pretty darn good. Especially after sitting through 6 hours of class straight. Yeah, you would want to cry too. At some point in the lecture last week my teacher stated something about "we come from monkeys." My friend vehemently opposed that statement. "I don't believe that. I'm not a monkey. Take THAT chimpanzee." hahaha There's a skin disorder called a "stork bite" due to it's location and appearance that is common in children. Gggrrrreeeaattt....so we came from monkeys and we're dropped off by storks. Lovely. We got in trouble for talking in class though. Gaysauce. The professor asked us what was so funny and would we like to share with the class since we'd been laughing all class period. My friend after a slight pause was like, we're just laughing about my car breaking down this morning. I chimed in something like yeah if we didn't laugh, we'd cry (which is true). Good thing she saved the day cuz I had nothin'. Crap. But what can she do, kick us out of class? Yeah right. Since we're paying a freakin' fortune to be there. Maybe that means we should pay attention. Nah...OK, OK, that's not totally true. We do pay attention. But we're pros at multi-tasking. Listening to lecture and still having fun with it is a talent, thank you very much. At least in my classes it is.
I realize I haven't written in awhile and people have been asking about it, so here's the deal....I'm taking OB and PEDs this semester (aka children and mother/ baby). So...a lot of our lectures, at least in OB, are really graphic and pretty awkward subjects outside of nursing (even in nursing). I'll try to tone it down for the blog, but you've been warned, k?! This commentary from today's OB class was between a friend and I. I'm not going to distinguish between who said what, but they are direct quotes mostly. :) Oh...and most of it shouldn't be said out loud, as usual, last warning...  Male determines gender of new baby X = girl Y = boy I believe the response to this picture was: "Cute." "You just called sperm cute." "It looks happy." "Not THAT happy, it hasn't been fertilized yet." "Why does the male get to determine the gender?" "Because they don't really get much of a say in anything else." (Oh, soooo true, poor men. I almost feel bad for them, almost). A fact on another slide: "Sperm: Live 1-3 days after ejaculation" Response to that slide: "AH-HAH! That's how they do it. Otherwise they'd never survive in our world. We're very mean to them." (Ouch, that's actually true too...hmmm, but they might deserve it).  In response to this slide and my professor's rather terrible explanation of it my friend wrote on her slide "WTF?!" "Look up in book!" Hahahahaha...that's pretty bad when you have to write WTF? on your notes b/c your professor sucks so bad at explaining the material. On the "Infant State-Related Behavior Chart" descriptions of actions of the infant are evaluated on scales. Under "Cuddliness" the "Implications for Caregiving" are stated as: " cuddliness is usually rewarding behavior for the caregivers. It seems to convey a message of affection." I do believe, we volunteered to spoon at this point...cuddliness IS, indeed a message of affection. Hey, guys are good for something, at least. Yay for LoveSac's which facilitate great said "cuddling or spooning." ;-) Last Saturday I went to my bro's house for their going away party. Boooo....they're abandoning me in DC. Gaysauce. I'm really too bitter about this subject to talk about it right now. I already whined for a good half an hour about it today alone. Anyways, I went to their party with a bunch of married people, oh the joy, actually that really has nothing to do with this except we were talking after. OK, I am tired. Moving on. My sister-in-law works at an all girls private school. One word, "MONEY." Their tuition is more expensive than mine, good grief. Who pays $25,000 for their 7 year old to go to school? The answer is lots and lots of people in the DC area. Anyways, Carly was telling me a story that one of her co-workers, an alumnus (is that the right word? whatever) told her. The woman said she knew that she went to an all girls school one day when she saw a girl walking down the hall, grab her stomach and say "Ah, my uterus hurts." Uh yeah, only at an all girls school would that happen. My sister-in-law is also pregnant and due in February with their first baby, YAY (except they'll be in Littleton, BOOOO, again). The problem is, my brother gets horribly queasy when it comes to blood and guts. Yes, we have VERY different tastes in life. Poor guy can't even handle me telling stories...he turns a little green. It's kinda fun. :-D I'm so evil! He's convinced that he's going to be in the Labor/ Delivery room with Carly when she has the baby though, I'm convinced he's not going to make it. He'll pass out, I'm sure of it. He's so determined that he'll be fine and that he's just going to stay at the top of the bed. He thinks he'll rally when he has to though and be just fine. There's a slight possibly that might work, but there's NO way he's going to make it through the after-birth. The placenta is probably the bloodiest thing I have ever seen/ touched. I used to have the oh so pleasant job of cleaning the birthing carts and bagging the placentas to freeze them. My professor tried to describe a placenta today, but until you hold one in your hands there's no way you can possibly sum up how bloody, rubbery, and disgusting it really is...and yet that sack allows a fetus to grow for 9 months, amazing. Truly incredible! There's also nothing like holding a brand new, literally, baby in your arms. It's a pretty special experience. I would never do OB, it's just not for me, not enough excitement, surprisingly enough, but it's fun to do every once in a while. I enjoyed the time I worked there as a CNA and a secretary on a Mother/ Baby Unit. Anyways, that was quite the tangent, sorry. I hope I didn't gross anyone out too bad. Oh, I just realized I didn't explain the title line. We also talked about twins and how they're formed today. My friend decided she definitely does NOT want twins and if she has them she's going to be like: "take 'em back, take 'em back!!" hahaha...yeah, I would probably feel the same way. In fact, by the time this class is over we're probably not going to want kids at all. Thank goodness for nieces and nephews. LOVE them, especially since you can give them back!! ;-) So this semester promises to be an entertaining one full of lots of blogs, probably. For now, it's late and I need to be sleeping.
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