Single's Awareness Day

Cupid died. Sorry (not). There's no Valentine's day this year.

P.S. My dislike of this holiday has nothing to do with whether I'm single or not, just for the record. I dislike it even when I have a boyfriend.

P.P.S. The use of so much pink might have something to do with it....and the fact that it makes me gag. Too sappy. Yuck.

P.P.P.S. There might be a few other reasons too. But, as you can see it doesn't matter, cuz he's dead. Dead. Dead. Dead.

THE END

Dream dream dream dream

So I had this dream last night....in animation. Like cartoons. Not like new PIXAR cartoons, but the old school stuff from when I was a kid watching on Saturday mornings. I didn't know this was even possible, to dream in animation. It was bizarre, but funny. All I remember really is that it was like middle ages times with castles and armies and battles (we were assembling an army for a battle apparently) and strange creatures made up our army (they reminded me of they creatures off of Lord of the Rings or Narnia). I was there watching it, like 3rd person, but I think I was actually a cartoon character too. Oh wow. Lol. Cartoons. Classic. I've apparently regressed to childhood due to the stress in my life and am now dealing with it by dreaming that I'm a cartoon in cartoon world. Lovely.

I've been having nightmares a lot lately, which is an unpleasant experience to say the least. Last week though, between the nightmares I had a very funny and kinda gross dream. I dreamed I was brushing my teeth. Nothing unusual there I guess. Clean teeth are a good thing. However, I woke up when I realized that I was drooling in my pillow as I was "spitting" out the toothpaste in the dream. hahaha, gross. I immediately woke up the minute I realized my pillow was getting wet. Yeah, I washed my sheets. Gross. But funny.

Everybody's on the Food Chain

Last weekend I FINALLY got to go see OneRepublic in concert in Philly with the Boy, after months of missing their concerts. I've loved this band since May or June, long before anyone had ever heard of them (See OneRepublic "Apologize" from June and 1R from October). Amazingly, they can really sing (and play). It was a good concert. One of their opening bands was a guy call Eric Hutchinson. At first I was kind of skeptical of him when I heard his music on Myspace, but he's actually pretty good. He's kind of funky. I like it. But if the guy doesn't make it as a musician he could definitely make it as a stand up comedian. He was a great entertainer and very funny. He did this same thing about Justin Timberlake (who I hate) at our concert, but it was much better actually.
He also sang a song called "Food Chain." About how we're all on the food chain and no matter how hard we try we can't improve our status. He said there are 4 types of guys in this world and this is a direct quote: "Ugly, Ok, Hot, and Really Hot but total Asshole." haha Yep, that's true.

Don't worry, I already downloaded his CD. I think I like this kid. He's got his facts straight. Look at the lyrics for some of his songs if you don't believe me. Smart, smart man.

My Superwoman Complex

On my first day of Kindergarten (age 5) I walked in and met the two girls that would become my best friends for the next six years of elementary school. We'll call them Superwoman and Reen. (Superwoman, another best friend, me, another best friend, and Reen- age 8...complete with whipped cream) Superwoman (actually we still call each other this on occasion) and I stayed best friends all the way through high school and are still really close today.

(me and Superwoman- yes I did actually have a Superwoman sign on my graduation cap, haha)

(Superwoman, me, and Reen at our High School Graduation Party) She's one of those friends that no matter how much time has gone by when we get together nothing has changed. Anyways, as kids sometimes we played dress up. I know for me that's really girly, but don't worry that was mixed between our times of playing outside. Reen could also go by "horse enthusiast." So we spent a lot of our time playing (or rather working) with her horses in the dirt (of course), if that makes you feel any better about the girliness. Anyways, when we played dress up we used to run around the house in Superwoman underwear. I guess they made us feel powerful or something. haha Yep, those are great memories. But, I'm thinking that may be where my Superwoman Complex started...

I have these phases in my life where I decide that I must be Superwoman. I know I'm studying Multiple Personality Disorder (actually it's called Dissociative Identity Disorder now), but I think this is taking it a little far. I think I can take on the world. Yeah, unfortunately I am quickly reminded that I am not a superhero and I am only human. Booooo. Last week I spent 3 or 4 days under so much stress I was actually physically shaking. I looked like I had Parkinson's tremors (yes, everything is a medical analogy for me, you'll get used to it). Something major was going on with every member of my immediate family and unfortunately I live in Virginia which is approximately between 1700 and 2400 miles from my different family members. Entirely too far away for me to do much of anything. I have this problem with wanting to take on everyone's problems and take away their pain. Not that this is a bad thing, but unfortunately I've found you can't really solve anyone else's problems and you can't take away their pain. You can be a support (which is hard from this far away) and love them, but you can't things away. Yeah, I'm not a superhero and I am not God. He is the only one who can really do this for us all. Anyways, you add all of this stress plus enough homework to last me into the next century (at least that's what it feels like) and other stresses which I won't get into here...but it turned me into a complete disaster. I wasn't sleeping and when I slept I had nightmares. Plus I was still sick (yeah, for the last month). Unfortunately my family and my best friend got the brunt of this hyperventilating, sick, basket case. Poor things. Bless them for sticking by me. Then it occurred to me that I was trying to be Superwoman again. This has happened many times before (you'd think I'd learn). So I finally had to admit that I can't do it all, I can't fix everyone else's problems single-handedly and I'm not Superwoman. Damn. Hmm...maybe I just need a side-kick. Nope. No. No. Jennie, you're still not Superwoman. Back to reality...until I try to be Superwoman again. "Up in the sky, look! It's a bird! It's a plane! It's....[Yeah, it ain't me, so keep looking]!"

The best cure for self pity

So I got up at 5am after a pretty rough night, spent all day at clinicals at a Psychiatric Hospital, and then came home exhausted and I wanted to just sit here and whine about my life falling apart, but I have to say I've been humbled today. I won't go into details of why because it is too difficult to explain. But, I will say that today made me very grateful for my relatively simple problems. I do not have to deal constantly with delusions, hallucinations, paranoia, psychosis, etc. Thankfully, that is not part of my reality. But it is part of many people's lives and I am learning to really appreciate how difficult life must be for them. I will continue to strive to develop empathy for those people who are not as fortunate as I am to have a relatively blessed life. But, I am humbled and so I decided that my best solution is to list all the things that I am grateful for today. Here goes...I am grateful....
That I only got semi-lost in Seven Corners today (and GPS units)
That I didn't lose my brother last week
That I have a brand new beautiful nephew and that my sister-in-law is doing well
That even though I'm horribly homesick that means that I have more than one place I can call home
Eternal Families- I can't think of anyone else on earth that I would rather spend eternity with than my family
Good Music
True friends who stick with me even through the worst of times
Friends who text you just to tell you that they're thinking about you and love you (thanks for that!)
Modern technology that allows me to stay in touch with my family and friends no matter where they are
That it's not snowing
That I can be in school to do what I've wanted to do since I was 17 and that I'm just as passionate about my career as I was back then. I still love what I do.
An incredibly compassionate Bishop. He is a great man.
My Testimony of the Gospel, the Scriptures, and the Prophets (past and present)
Last, but definitely not least, President Hinckley. I am grateful for the life he led. The example he was. His sense of humor. His love for the Lord, Gospel, and for all people. I never had the priviledge of meeting this incredible man and yet I mourn his death as if he was a good friend. I remember every time I had the opportunity to be in the same room as the Prophet though. It is impossible to explain the Spirit that that man radiated whenever he walked into a room. You could physically feel the change as soon as he entered. I was moved to tears every time I watched and felt this happen. I cherish every one of those experiences. I knew he loved me every time I heard him speak and I knew the Lord loved me. I thank my Heavenly Father for sending us that wonderful man to guide His church for a time. I am thankful for President Monson who is an amazing man as well. I am grateful for modern day revelation. There is not much I can say that my friends have not already all touched on in their tributes to President Hinckley but I will miss this man. He taught me to:
1. Be grateful.
2. Be smart.
3. Be clean.
4. Be true.
5. Be humble.
6. Be prayerful.
Relatively simple, but profound instructions that have guided me over the past almost 8 years since this talk was given. The day after his passing I was emailed this video from BYU. I thought it was a nice remembrance of him. I second that, "thank you President Hinckley for our journey together." While he will be missed I do not begrudge him the opportunity to be reunited with his sweet wife. In his book, "Stand A Little Taller" the quote for today, February 4th is this, "Your best self: Keep faith with the best that is in you. Your own constant self-improvement will become as a polar star to those with whom you associate. They will remember longer what they saw in you than what they heard from you. Your attitude, your point of view can make such a tremendous difference."

"Come Fly Our Friendly Skies"

(This is really long, sorry...it's more me de-stressing than anything. You don't really need to read it all. I won't be offended if you don't) :)
So after 3 weeks of vacation in Colorado and Utah I finally flew back to DC a couple of weeks ago. It was by far the WORST trip I've ever taken. Everything that could have gone wrong (minus crashing the plane) did.
This was the sequence of events that fateful day (I added that for dramatic effect :), you're welcome):

I had a really bad night because I was really sick coughing and I was on narcotics so I didn't get very much sleep...

I ran out of time getting ready so I didn't get breakfast (my favorite meal of the day), then we took my nephew to a friend's house before Kindergarten and I said goodbye to him.

My Sister-in-law drove me to the airport, but by the time we got there, both of my nieces were fast asleep so I didn't get a chance to even say goodbye to them. Booooo.

Salt Lake International Airport is not exactly a large airport and I usually don't have problems flying through there because it's small enough that checking in and security doesn't take very long (nothing like DC). That shouldn't have been any different this day right? WRONG! I waited a good eh, 45 minutes in line just to check in my baggage because there were families all over the place from Europe with skis and a freakin' ton of bags. Lovely. Good thing I got there early and my flight was already delayed.

Getting through the security line took another probably 20 minutes, the line was all the way out into the hallway. But of course, what should happen when my purse goes through the x-ray? TSA person: "Who's bag is this?" Me: "Mine" TSA person: "We need to run it again" Me: "That's fine" (what did they think I was going to say? No? Yeah right.) They run the purse again. Nada. Me trying to be cooperative: "Do you need to look through it?" TSA Peeps: "Yes." Me: "Go ahead." At this point they proceeded to rip apart my purse piece by piece, which is an ordeal in and of itself. Nada. TSA Peeps (who is obviously new and being coached by someone else next to him): "Can we run this through (the wallet, the purse without the stuff in it, etc.)?" Me (annoyed by this time, but acting very nice and calm and cooperative...and glad my flight is delayed since this is taking forever): "Of course, you do whatever you need to." They finally told me what they thought they saw, a pocketknife. Are you kidding me?! A pocketknife. In my purse. Yeah right. I don't have any clue what they thought they saw that looks like a pocketknife in my purse, but I'll tell you this much, I don't have a pocketknife in my purse. They finally let me go when they didn't find anything. Good grief.

So I get to my gate and my plane is delayed....like a while. So I get something to eat, oh and I get my seating arrangement since I didn't have an assigned seat on my ticket (nice one). But only after standing in another line for a good 30ish minutes. Then....*Ding* "Attention: flight 522 (or whatever it was) to Chicago O' Hare your flight has been delayed" AGAIN. Ok, so that's not exactly what they said, but close. Apparently the President of the United States was in Chicago so NO flights were going into or out of Chicago. I guess he's more important than we are. :) Well, a lot of people were already going to miss their flights out of Chicago and the more we got delayed (since they kept changing the time we were leaving) the more concerned I got about missing my flight.

Salt Lake to Chicago was ok. Then run to find my gate....phew, made my plane. But, I'm absolutely miserable by this time because I'm coughing and I'm on a narcotic and I'm feeling somewhat sick. So we get on the plane and we sit and we sit and we sit. The Captain finally gets on the intercom and proceeds to tell us that for some reason (we switched original planes or something) we have no crew and not only do we have no crew we don't have gasoline. Say what?! That definitely got my attention. I looked at the two men beside me and we were like, that's never a good sign. I was more than nauseous at this point and basically conked out against the window. We sat there forever though. We finally started taxiing and we taxied and taxied and taxied and then STOPPED. What? Why did we stop? Runways are for taking off. Not stopping in the middle of. Needless to say, Chicago is not know for its good weather. There was actually lightning and rain that was visible out the windows of the plane. Back on the intercom, "Sorry folks, no eastbound flights are taking off at this time." They did let us talk on our phones though. I was quite possibly the shade of green by this time and it was roasting on that plane. Their idea of a free movie to show everyone was Jane Austen's Book club or something like that. Uh, no. I didn't watch it. We sat on the tarmac for about 2 hours and 15 minutes. On the runway. We couldn't even re-route because, oops, we don't have enough fuel. At one point I saw the line of planes behind us. It was long. We finally got in the air for one of the bumpiest rides I've ever had (and I was already nauseous). I don't think I've ever come so close to having to use one of those barf bags before. I actually had my head between my knees for a long time. I could describe how sick I was in detail for you, but I won't. Narcotic + Motion sickness (which I get really badly) + bad turbulence + little food (airport food for that matter) + sinus infection + cough = recipe for disaster. It was pretty darn close. I have never been so glad to see the Washington Monument and the Kennedy Center!!

I felt horrible for my roommates, by this point, who were supposed to be picking me up because I knew they both had to get up early the next morning and it was getting later and later and I had a lot of luggage: a huge suitcase, a Massive duffel bag, my laptop bag, and my purse. I had some serious issues carrying all of those at once. Moving on....I made it without puking all over everyone and everything. I'm sure United appreciates that, as do the guys sitting next to me. But, now I have a headache headed toward a migraine. Who wouldn't? So I wait for my bags and duffel bag? Yes. Suitcase? No. They delivered it the next day (I didn't get it on the way there either) Booo....That officially made this the worst trip EVER. I'm NEVER EVER EVER flying through Chicago again. Not if I can avoid it at least. By the time my roommates showed up and I had filled out my missing baggage claim ticket I was nearly in tears. I was dry heaving when I got home and then the trip from HELL was over. The End.

I AM YOUR BROTHER!!!

So I don't usually watch American Idol, but the TV was on the other night and my roommate and I were procrastinating doing homework, so we were watching the auditions. After seeing this though, I have to say it was totally worth it. Hilarious! He even got all 3 judges to sing with him and my favorite is when Paula actually busts a move. Awesome. I probably won't see another episode this season, but it was worth wasting an hour of my night just to get to see this. Enjoy!