We are cool

Sometimes we pretend we're back in the 80's again.

(P.S. Yes I do actually have 3 toe rings, I have a thing for pretty feet. Not ugly feet, just pretty feet).

My Birthday Rules (or rules for my birthday either one)

(The email I sent to my friends the night before my birthday)....
Ok people here's the deal...I've had a terrible week, no kidding. It started out horribly and got WAY worse from there. My bday is on Friday. I hate birthdays, but since a lot of you already know about it, I'm setting some ground rules. I have a bad track record with birthdays. They do not go well for me, I'd rather just kind of skip over them and I already feel old. My roommate decided I needed to make up this list of approved and unapproved topics and Rules/ Restrictions. If you think I'm kidding then you obviously have not talked to me this week. I've had the week from Hell. This is NO joke. If you bring up one of these restricted topics or break a rule do not think I will just laugh and blow it off and we'll be ok next week. You will be excommunicated from my birthday and probably as a friend too. I'm not feeling very forgiving this week. So read carefully. Ok, have a good rest of the week. Love you all, Jen

Rules/ Restrictions:
No one can wear the color pink in my presence
No one can "pop" their collar in my presence
No cutting onions in my presence

Unapproved topics:
School (don't ask me how it's going)
Nursing
Hospitals
Moving
Black Beauty (or any cars in general)
Papers
Exams
Sleep (or lack thereof)
My week (do NOT ask me about it)
Denver
Babies
Clinicals
My relationship with ANYONE (guy or girl)
The Metro
Rubik cubes (I'm sick of hearing about them, no offense)
Being old
Previous birthdays
Utah
the War
Iraq
Saudi Arabia (or why this is my nickname)
Baltimore
Homework
Harry Potter (I like HP I just don't want to hear about it on my bday)
Your advice on my life
Idaho
Arizona
Booeymongers
Awkward relationships
Dating
Marriage
Mitt Romney
Politics
Winter
Turtles
Humidity/ Heat
the Yankees
missing the baseball game on Monday
Finals
Transformers (I haven't seen it yet, stop rubbing it in)
Pinatas
Honey
Cauterizing
Rook
Sea Food
Grocery shopping
Clowns
Hair
Calories
Weight
Poison Ivy
Langley Ward

Approved Topics:
Baseball
Red Sox
Boston
Moose
Lighthouses
Pickles
Milk Chocolate
UFC (especially if you are a guy and want to try the moves on me- um, a friend said I should say that) :P
Bones (it's a TV show)
the Office
Colorado (but if you make me homesick you get kicked out)
the beach
Winnipesaukee
Ice cream
Dr. Pepper
Motorcycles
Black olives
Hot tubs
Shoulder holsters
Amusement Parks
Good music
Thunder and lightning storms
Painted toenails
Cowboys
Good movies
One liners from 8 Simple rules (that's for you, Lex) :)
Luv Sacs
My blog
Horses
Boats
Bulldozers
Guns
TWSS
Lightning bugs
Verbal vomit moments
Cereal
Bubble gum
Good memories of/ with me
Tree Houses
Swings
Boots
Squirrels

You can always try to bring up another topic but that's pretty risky for you unless you want to be on the hit list. Apparently, 24 would like to go out with a vengeance so my last week of being 24 is one of the worst I've ever had. Either that or 24 hates me. :) I'm past the tears point now, it's almost funny how bad this week has been, so I'm only partly joking here. :P Laters ya'll....

"Open mouth, insert entire body"

So I took my car to the Honda Dealership today to get it fixed, supposedly. That's another story though and I'm entirely too angry about that to write about it right now. Anyways, the guy at the desk asked me which car was mine so he could fill out the paperwork. I automatically responded "the Honda." At which point he burst out laughing at me and I realized what I had just said...um Jennie, you're at a HONDA DEALERSHIP of course it's a Honda. Oh my gosh. I am cool. I tried to recover, it wasn't very graceful though. Bleh. Oh yeah, I rock.

Dear Jennie,
You haven't bleached your hair blonde in YEARS, try not to act that way, ok?! You are working on your second degree, try not to act like the stupid blonde bimbo girl who knows nothing.
Sincerely, your Brain.

Yeah, now would be a good time to "discontinue my spot on the planet" because now I have to try to fix my pharmacology paper that I did wrong. Apparently I won't be sleeping, ever.

I'm the soberest drunk you've ever met...

Wow, way to start out a weekend, Jennie. So after a month and a half of trying to find a night when my roommies and I could all get together to go to a Nationals baseball game, we finally went last night. YAY. Pathetic that we can't find a night when all of us (there's only 4) can get together for 1 1/2 months, huh?!

Here's my addendum...if you don't already know I'm a HUGE baseball fan. That's an understatement too. I'm a die hard Red Sox fan. I'm also for whoever beats the Yankees. :) (I also like the Astros and I used to be a Rockies fan, but since my ex played for their farm system, I'm not exactly what you would call a fan anymore). So when I watch baseball, I get REALLY into it. I am LOUD, LOUD, LOUD. That's an understatement as well. I'm obnoxious. I'm like an out of control, drunk, baseball fan, that won't shut up. That even applies to watching it at home, but it's worse when I'm actually at a game. So I warned my roommates beforehand....

Ash and I smile (I swear I have a tan, she's just really dark)...Lex dances...and Bekah found her Metro card (too bad it was too late to use it)...and this is how we entertain ourselves on the Metro. She solved it!...it was apparently a long ride

Moving on to the game....we got there a little late, but it was already into the 2nd inning. Yeah go ahead and guess the score...hahahaha 0-5 Brewers. Ouch, the Nationals suck. Oh well, it's baseball, that's all I cared about. So everything was going fine, and then my roommates decided they were bored I guess. Hmmm...how about we try to embarrass the heck outta Jennie was their next thought, I'm pretty sure. I have this thing about being dared to do things- you can't dare me to do things, cuz I'll do them, unfortunately. I can't turn them down, usually. Boooo....so there were these 4 guys at the VERY top of the stadium who were like outta control fans. My roommies decided that I desperately needed to go become acquainted with these guys. haha. Blast! So that conversation went something like: Jennie: Hi, um, I think you guys are like the only real fans in this stadium and I'm down there and I'm the only one who's cheering. So I think it's awesome that you guys are fans. Can I get my picture with you?" Those aren't even close to my real words, but I don't remember my exact words, it was a long night as you will see. Yeah, I rock. I'm pretty sure they knew they were a bet, but whatever, I still did it.

The first pic is to show you they were literally at the top of the stadium with no one around so they watched us walk all the way up there and all the way back to our seats. Awesome. Yeah, they were totally in high school. hahahahaha...I have NO idea what I'm doing with my hands, and according to my roommate I look tiny compared to them, lovely.

OK, so this is where the night got really interesting. Like I said, I'm LOUD at baseball games. I'm also a very opinionated person and I know my baseball enough to be able to have an opinion and yell. So around the time I got back down to our seats, my roommates started noticing that a guy several rows ahead and the section over from us would turn around and look and laugh every time I yelled. Like I said, I'm not quiet. Apparently he and his dad thought I was incredibly entertaining. :) Oh, I also tend to, um, not edit things I yell when I'm watching baseball and I can be very mean and rude if I don't like something that happens. Now my roommates got really interested in this whole baseball game just b/c this guy was very interested in me. hahaha. Well, once I knew I had an audience and that I'd never see anyone in that stadium again, I figured i might as well play it up. "So let's give him a show, " is what I believe I said. hehehe. I'm sure everyone around me thought I was incredibly drunk and out of control. Unfortunately for them, I've never had a drink of alcohol in my life. I was totally sober. Baseball is intoxicating though, as are guys ;) ...you put them together and I'm a goner. Oh...and as one of my roommies put it "he had pretty blue eyes." Yes, yes he did. Well...me yelling approximately every 60 seconds, VERY loudly and him turning around and him and his dad laughing every time = ammo for my roommates. Yeah, they started planning my wedding. WHOA! Wait, wait, wait!!! They even picked where I was getting proposed to, where the wedding was at, who would be there, when it would be (today actually, well, technically yesterday, Saturday), what my colors were, etc. Um...hold on, kids...#1- I don't even know his name, #2- WT...?!, #3- I'm acting like I'm 12, whey would even want to talk to me (although he obviously thinks I'm funny and his dad loves me), and #4- I don't like the wedding colors you picked....hahaha, j/k. They even started texting our friends and telling them. Oh great.

(P.S. the nacho cheese was good...and red, white and blue in the background is him)

Moving on to more ways I made a fool out of myself in front of him. :D During the 7th inning stretch of course we got up and sang. Except instead of singing "Root, root, root, for the Nationals" I screamed "RED SOX." I'm pretty sure he heard that one and started laughing. I couldn't resist, sorry (but not really). Then he left for a few minutes and as he was walking back and got to the end of our row at the top of the stairs to go back to his seat, we hit a home run. Well, considering that was THE most exciting thing the Nats did the entire game, of course I was jumping up and down and screaming (my roommates were too). But he actually stopped at the end of our row, looks at me and starts applauding ME, LOL. I am awesome. Yeah, my roommies still won't let me live THAT one down. "He was applauding you and you couldn't even get his name....blah blah blah." I was going to get a real picture, but he kept turning around, and that would have been bad if he had seen that. So, this is the pic of him my roommate got on her phone, that's a little less obvious than an actual camera. :) He's in the red, white and blue and his dad has the yellow hat on. During the bottom of the 9th him and his dad moved down to the railing, so we decided we needed to be down there too. ;) These pictures are the disaster that resulted while he and his dad looked on and laughed.

(Why we needed a pic of me just by myself I don't know, I look like I'm on drugs and I'm talking....haha....I think she's embarrassed by me j/k)

The rest that were taken at this point are literally too awful for anyone to see.

I failed to mention earlier that at some point my roommates for some bizarre reason decided to start smacking me on the butt. Oh great...he probably thinks we're lesbians. Nice one roommies. :P But at this point I whipped around and a guy who worked in the stadium was walking by and he comments, "you didn't think I smacked you on the butt did you?" or something like that. Um, no. LOL, oh lovely. That was par for the night.

When the game ended we said something like have nice night and went up the stadium stairs to leave. My roommates were giving me a really hard time b/c I didn't ever get his name. Yeah, I'm not even going there. On the way down the ramp I was still incredibly um, "drunk" acting at least. So I was skipping...and I realized that he was standing on the upper level watching me skip down the ramp. hehehe. Of course I did it on purpose, duh! Hey, give me a break, how often do you get to act like you're 12 again?! They were teasing me that he was going to be on the same Metro as us. Uh, no...I've had enough humiliation for one night, it's one thing to be at a baseball game, trying to hold a civilized conversation after making a complete fool out of myself is a completely different story. Yeah guess who was on our train? LOL. What are the chances? Good thing he was in another car and he didn't get off at the same stop as us. Lucky me!

Oh...my wedding was supposed to be today. We went tubing on the Potomac, sorry, no wedding. But no worries, we're going to another Nats game next Monday. Oh...and my throat is killing me today. It was totally worth it!!!!!

Do I have WHAT?! Shhh....

My life is full of awkward moments. Like last week wasn't bad enough with female repro. and breast/ testicular exams...this week was male repro. and STDs which, by the way, are now called STIs (Sexually Transmitted Infections), since I'm sure you were just dying to know that. YUCK!!! Sometimes I'm seriously grateful (more so than usual, at least) that I'm LDS (aka Mormon). But here's some of the highlights from my class tonight- I didn't say any of these, just for the record: :)
On the topic of STIs:
The first slide for this section said "Life is a Sexually Transmitted Disease"
- Yeah, that caused plenty of controversy in my classroom. The lady behind me said "It's not a disease, it's a joy." Someone also stated, "It's an infection."
- Me: On the first slide- "What is THAT supposed to mean?" On the next two comments, Me thinking: "LOL, no comment...."
Moving on with the lecture, these were more rather entertaining comments made on the STIs lecture:
- "It's great fun" (that was actually from my professor)
- Me thinking: "Are you serious?! Gross!"
- My Professor then went on to comment on how she always feels a little guilty giving these lectures when the screen for the PowerPoints is right next to a crucifix on the wall (I'm going to a Catholic school. BYU to Catholic school, lol, yeah) She especially commented on the nasty pictures (porn) she has to put up on the screen. By the way, don't get a STI, they're nasty and you'll be REALLY sick. OK, enough on that, moving on....
With a couple STIs, rather disgusting sores show up on people's hands if they are infected...here's my favorite comments on that sign:
- To the patient (or I guess to a guy you're thinking about dating): "Can I see your hands? I'm not only checking your cap. refill...."
- Me thinking: Smooth. That was funny....That's a disgusting test to do on someone, but yeah, probably pretty accurate...the sores make me want to gag, there's NO WAY I'd hold that hand, much less want to date the guy...What have YOU been doing, buddy?! Nevermind, I don't want to know. I think I just threw up a little bit in my mouth.

Several weeks ago I was studying and one of my friends asked me, "Do you have Doctor Porn?" I believe my response was something like, "Do I have WHAT?!" Once she explained that she meant graphic, not censored (at all, usually) pictures in my nursing books, I realized that yeah, I do, unfortunately. I've never thought of it that way, but yeah that's probably pretty accurate. I have a lot of it. I see a lot of it. It's become so much of my professional life that it doesn't even phase me anymore, but I think I nearly had a heart attack when she said that, lol. If I had been drinking something it would have gone all over the room. Yeah, not my favorite part of nursing. Booo...oh well. I can be professional and move on. Doctor Porn, lovely...that's just great. (me smacking myself on the forehead and shaking it...oh and probably rolling my eyes too, since I do that A LOT).

We also had to abdominal exams in lab today, which was no big deal. Here's the problem though....I'm incredibly ticklish. Bare skin, especially my stomach is a prime spot for tickling me. Good thing no one ever has the opportunity to tickle me like that (except this once). My poor friend was having a hard time palpating and auscultating (listening to) my abdomen cause I kept bursting out laughing. By the way....when your patient is laughing and you're listening to it in a stethoscope it's REALLY loud. Not nice, lol. I tried not to laugh, and failed. At least she's just as ticklish as me. Minus swimsuits I'm not a regular advocate of showing off a lot of skin, but in this lab they literally told us "less is more" meaning that the less clothes you wear the better (we have to do pretty extensive exams, so it's understandable, but still...) I think nursing school is corrupting me. Oh wait, maybe I was already corrupted. ;-)

P.S. This is by no means an invitation to tickle me, it will not end well for you if you try.

4 more weeks....

I'm so ready for this stupid semester to be over. In fact, I don't think it ever really started for me. I need a vacation. I hate my classes. I hate my life. Yes, I'm whining. No, I don't care. Clinicals suck, hate them too. Today for instance, portrayed why I told myself I would never be on a cancer floor again. I worked there for a year and a half, there's a reason (or many reasons) I left. There are two kinds of patients in this world: the kind that deal with their illnesses well and are optimistic and gracious...and the kind that don't and are pissed off and mean. Guess who I got today? Oh yeah. Lucky me. I always seem to get the angry patients. Granted they are dying...and soon, so they have every right to be angry, but why do they always have to be in that stage of the grief cycle when I have them as a patient? Good thing they're sick, so I give them a break...otherwise, we'd have some serious problems. I'm also pretty sure that I told Stalker to shut it (or something similar to that) today, and that Stalker and Pop were making fun of how Xena talks and how big she is, today. No way...I'm staying far away from that one, that's entirely too mean. My favorite though is last week's episode when we had to do our evaluations with our instructor...mine went something like the following:
Instructor: Jennie sometimes you look really bored at clinicals...DON'T do that!!!
Me: (Burst out laughing) Uh, yeah...maybe because I am. They're BORING!!!!
OK, so maybe I didn't really say that. In fact I don't think I said anything at all, but it was pretty close. It took a lot of restraint to keep that in. Aren't clinicals supposed to reaffirm why you want to be a nurse? Right now they're just reminding me why I absolutely abhor floor nursing with a passion. Shoot me now. Except the one day I spent in the OR....which was awesome. Total knee replacement, absolutely sweet...and breast reduction/ mastopexy. Minus the part where they pulled out the breast tissue, weighed it and then handed it to me. Um, what am I supposed to do with this?! Ewww....don't get me wrong, I used to clean the birthing carts and bag placentas, they are much grosser and bloodier, but it was still kinda weird. (Just so you know, I wasn't really grossed out, it was just funny to me...like they were trying to pick on the nursing student, haha, whatever) OK...I'm done being graphic, sorry. I hope no one passed out. OR is at least exciting though, floor nursing is tedious and makes me want to vomit it's so lame. I'm not going to nursing school to do floor nursing....I wanna be in TRAUMA, big difference. Anyways, this semester sucks, Yeah, Denver's lookin' pretty good right now. So, I got little sleep. I got up at 5, and I'm taking a nap now. Guten nacht, sort of.

Deja Vu....

I'm writing before 6am again, watch out....but only to say I saw someone wearing jellies the other day. Ahhhh....the 80s are coming back to haunt me. I used to love those shoes, I wore them all the time, but they have to be the most uncomfortable shoe on the planet (with the possible exception of stilettos). Please tell me they're not coming back into style. Not that I'd wear them again if they were....