My life is full of awkward moments. Like last week wasn't bad enough with female repro. and breast/ testicular exams...this week was male repro. and STDs which, by the way, are now called STIs (Sexually Transmitted Infections), since I'm sure you were just dying to know that. YUCK!!! Sometimes I'm seriously grateful (more so than usual, at least) that I'm LDS (aka Mormon). But here's some of the highlights from my class tonight- I didn't say any of these, just for the record: :)
On the topic of STIs:
The first slide for this section said "Life is a Sexually Transmitted Disease"
- Yeah, that caused plenty of controversy in my classroom. The lady behind me said "It's not a disease, it's a joy." Someone also stated, "It's an infection."
- Me: On the first slide- "What is THAT supposed to mean?" On the next two comments, Me thinking: "LOL, no comment...."
Moving on with the lecture, these were more rather entertaining comments made on the STIs lecture:
- "It's great fun" (that was actually from my professor)
- Me thinking: "Are you serious?! Gross!"
- My Professor then went on to comment on how she always feels a little guilty giving these lectures when the screen for the PowerPoints is right next to a crucifix on the wall (I'm going to a Catholic school. BYU to Catholic school, lol, yeah) She especially commented on the nasty pictures (porn) she has to put up on the screen. By the way, don't get a STI, they're nasty and you'll be REALLY sick. OK, enough on that, moving on....
With a couple STIs, rather disgusting sores show up on people's hands if they are infected...here's my favorite comments on that sign:
- To the patient (or I guess to a guy you're thinking about dating): "Can I see your hands? I'm not only checking your cap. refill...."
- Me thinking: Smooth. That was funny....That's a disgusting test to do on someone, but yeah, probably pretty accurate...the sores make me want to gag, there's NO WAY I'd hold that hand, much less want to date the guy...What have YOU been doing, buddy?! Nevermind, I don't want to know. I think I just threw up a little bit in my mouth.
Several weeks ago I was studying and one of my friends asked me, "Do you have Doctor Porn?" I believe my response was something like, "Do I have WHAT?!" Once she explained that she meant graphic, not censored (at all, usually) pictures in my nursing books, I realized that yeah, I do, unfortunately. I've never thought of it that way, but yeah that's probably pretty accurate. I have a lot of it. I see a lot of it. It's become so much of my professional life that it doesn't even phase me anymore, but I think I nearly had a heart attack when she said that, lol. If I had been drinking something it would have gone all over the room. Yeah, not my favorite part of nursing. Booo...oh well. I can be professional and move on. Doctor Porn, lovely...that's just great. (me smacking myself on the forehead and shaking it...oh and probably rolling my eyes too, since I do that A LOT).
We also had to abdominal exams in lab today, which was no big deal. Here's the problem though....I'm incredibly ticklish. Bare skin, especially my stomach is a prime spot for tickling me. Good thing no one ever has the opportunity to tickle me like that (except this once). My poor friend was having a hard time palpating and auscultating (listening to) my abdomen cause I kept bursting out laughing. By the way....when your patient is laughing and you're listening to it in a stethoscope it's REALLY loud. Not nice, lol. I tried not to laugh, and failed. At least she's just as ticklish as me. Minus swimsuits I'm not a regular advocate of showing off a lot of skin, but in this lab they literally told us "less is more" meaning that the less clothes you wear the better (we have to do pretty extensive exams, so it's understandable, but still...) I think nursing school is corrupting me. Oh wait, maybe I was already corrupted. ;-)
P.S. This is by no means an invitation to tickle me, it will not end well for you if you try.
