We had to meet with our instructor to do our final evaluations for the semester. I won't explain my entire medical background b/c that would take forever, but needless to say I've wanted to be a nurse since I was 17, I know EXACTLY what I want to do, I've been in all kinds of areas of health care, and i know how to get there. If you get in my way I will stomp on you. Don't mess with me. Haven't you ever seen that "competitive jerk" poster form Despair.com? Don't get between a competitive jerk and their goals.
(Ok, so I just found it for you, aren't I nice, um maybe not). When I know what I want I'm admitting I can definitely be a competitive jerk. But hey, I wouldn't be where I am today if I wasn't that way. Anyways...my instructor asked what I wanted to do with nursing and I said I wanted to be in a Trauma Unit (possibly ICU later) and that shouldn't surprise her. I love adrenaline, I'm a junkie, the more the better. I explained more of my medical background and all of a sudden, tah dah! It was like the light came on...my instructor FINALLY understood me for the first time this semester. She understood where I was coming from, who I was, and why I was the way I was. It was like it finally was all making sense to her. "Oh you're right, that doesn't surprise me" (or something like that).I went on to explain that I had spent 1 1/2 years working on a cancer floor before and although I absolutely loved my job and learned a ton, I promised myself I'd never do it again. Emotionally it was just too difficult. So when i got stuck there for clinicals this semester it was the last place I wanted to be. I was miserable. Again, more understanding dawned on my instructor's face. I went on to explain that with all my background I felt like I wasn't being challenged and when I'm not challenged I feel like I'm moving backwards. (Why do you think I always go for guys way outta my league?) So yes, I was bored. I hate that I feel like I just wasted an entire semester. I've been a CNA (PCT, tech, whatever you want to call me) for years, I don't need to relearn that stuff, give me something valuable to learn. I think my brain might have actually atrophied this semester. I learn by doing and observing. I can't believe I just paid thousands of dollars to be a glorified CNA. I was paying THEM to do crappy work that I've been doing for years. What a waste. At least my instructor understands me now though, as useless as that is since clinicals are over for this semester. Why didn't we have this conversation at the beginning of the semester? Oh yeah, b/c she wouldn't listen to me then. But now she gets that I'm not a complete idiot and I'm not lazy, just bored. My classmate was taking pictures to send to our instructor though and of course the one of me is me with my head resting on my arms on the table looking like I'm sleeping. Classic, Jennie. (Of course we planned that on purpose :D) Hey, give me a break it's finals week. I have 3 finals tomorrow and another on Thursday. Mylifesucks.com cuz it sounds cooler. Ok, I'm done venting for now....back to studying and maybe even some sleep. HA!
