My Birthday Rules (or rules for my birthday either one)

(The email I sent to my friends the night before my birthday)....
Ok people here's the deal...I've had a terrible week, no kidding. It started out horribly and got WAY worse from there. My bday is on Friday. I hate birthdays, but since a lot of you already know about it, I'm setting some ground rules. I have a bad track record with birthdays. They do not go well for me, I'd rather just kind of skip over them and I already feel old. My roommate decided I needed to make up this list of approved and unapproved topics and Rules/ Restrictions. If you think I'm kidding then you obviously have not talked to me this week. I've had the week from Hell. This is NO joke. If you bring up one of these restricted topics or break a rule do not think I will just laugh and blow it off and we'll be ok next week. You will be excommunicated from my birthday and probably as a friend too. I'm not feeling very forgiving this week. So read carefully. Ok, have a good rest of the week. Love you all, Jen

Rules/ Restrictions:
No one can wear the color pink in my presence
No one can "pop" their collar in my presence
No cutting onions in my presence

Unapproved topics:
School (don't ask me how it's going)
Nursing
Hospitals
Moving
Black Beauty (or any cars in general)
Papers
Exams
Sleep (or lack thereof)
My week (do NOT ask me about it)
Denver
Babies
Clinicals
My relationship with ANYONE (guy or girl)
The Metro
Rubik cubes (I'm sick of hearing about them, no offense)
Being old
Previous birthdays
Utah
the War
Iraq
Saudi Arabia (or why this is my nickname)
Baltimore
Homework
Harry Potter (I like HP I just don't want to hear about it on my bday)
Your advice on my life
Idaho
Arizona
Booeymongers
Awkward relationships
Dating
Marriage
Mitt Romney
Politics
Winter
Turtles
Humidity/ Heat
the Yankees
missing the baseball game on Monday
Finals
Transformers (I haven't seen it yet, stop rubbing it in)
Pinatas
Honey
Cauterizing
Rook
Sea Food
Grocery shopping
Clowns
Hair
Calories
Weight
Poison Ivy
Langley Ward

Approved Topics:
Baseball
Red Sox
Boston
Moose
Lighthouses
Pickles
Milk Chocolate
UFC (especially if you are a guy and want to try the moves on me- um, a friend said I should say that) :P
Bones (it's a TV show)
the Office
Colorado (but if you make me homesick you get kicked out)
the beach
Winnipesaukee
Ice cream
Dr. Pepper
Motorcycles
Black olives
Hot tubs
Shoulder holsters
Amusement Parks
Good music
Thunder and lightning storms
Painted toenails
Cowboys
Good movies
One liners from 8 Simple rules (that's for you, Lex) :)
Luv Sacs
My blog
Horses
Boats
Bulldozers
Guns
TWSS
Lightning bugs
Verbal vomit moments
Cereal
Bubble gum
Good memories of/ with me
Tree Houses
Swings
Boots
Squirrels

You can always try to bring up another topic but that's pretty risky for you unless you want to be on the hit list. Apparently, 24 would like to go out with a vengeance so my last week of being 24 is one of the worst I've ever had. Either that or 24 hates me. :) I'm past the tears point now, it's almost funny how bad this week has been, so I'm only partly joking here. :P Laters ya'll....